dreams is myself talking with myself.but when I wake up they also disappear they only appear in my dreams.and in Buddha me is "not me".so who are they and who is me? Me? Or not me?

abortion my baby which was my cousin's who raped me for two years and lost my first job in my life,accept relief from an American who meet online under the name of love when he doesn't want to hurt my dignity,make money by porn videos which is disliked by most of people,rescue 6 homeless kittens on the way feeding stray cats which still feed now and using most of money to feed them and my parents,

most of Chinese in China are living by carrying heavy pasts, dark today and unknown tomorrow, work hard to feed families, ourselves,Chinese government, Chinese Party of Communism, and the world before President Trump of  USA move produce systems and industries out of China, our ancestors teach us human being can live as an animal, demons, ghosts human being and die to be a celestial being, and die to be a human being, ghosts, demons and animals.lots of ways to born,lots of ways to lose.when we mean to be damned to hell by what we have done, what are you doing, what can you do?what do you tell Chinese to do? Guo Wengui? tell Chinese to fight against Chinese government, tell them to fight against most evil things in the world for you who settle in America enjoying what Chinese make and sacrifice everyday? how can you do that? dramas by who you plant on the internet.most cheapest is the most expensive. you are using Chinese to pay their life today for your future!the only useful way for you on Chinese's life is to be scapegoats of yours?

Chinese Party of Communism leads Chinese into a very wrong dark dangerous even fatal way to go.yeah, to kill it perhaps is just defend,but when you know Chinese can't make it alone, to save Chinese instead of sending them to death should be a right reflection,and a good way.it's not kind.