I can't admit and believe the truth of being raped by the cousin and keep quiet for it, just because my dignity and proud doesn't allow such a criminal and incest happen on my families.i don't want him to rape anybody,not only because it's criminal,it's wrong, but also because it's shame,it's freaky.

I stopped him in the end to rape the others as I know, but I was raped.

I pretend and don't believe that I was raped by family,but it still exists.

why he chose me?cause he knows me than myself and he uses it,he knows I'm too proud to tell the truth,he knows I will stop myself to realize and tell it to the others especially who make me proud and honor to be one of them and to be with,especially who I know and trust in my life,will convince myself that it's not rape,or criminal,but a mistake, which it's all my responsibility.I'm just a sex model for him.now he has everything which I pay for them and I still don't care them at all.it simply messes with his self-esteem continuously.

but what make me hurt and bad in it is that, the first thing i felt when rapes happened,was that I think I don't take good care of him who become a criminal,and that I m a bad sister who deserved to be punished like this.for the other families and friends, I have same feelings whatever happen on both them and me.

I m sorry but I don't like that.