Divine can't tell truth.cause destiny comes from heaven,also hell.you can never avoid or betray what it means to be from there.like that I divine a lot for the basement kitten,and never read out it died among several big stray dogs.I think I killed it.but no, I wish it was me,do i could be be damned in the bottom of hell.life is so cruel by anybody, everything.

After Mr fox, I met 2 men who told me he's not smart and bad when he can't get my payment to send to me anymore in America because of more tax for us.then I broke up with him, stayed for a while with these 2 men.I tried to tempt them for getting my payment safely,but after experience with Mr fox who sent my payment later and later,I found that I can't trust anybody else by love.I felt bad,stepped further and further in wrong direction by their tempted words and behaviors when Mr fox still does his best to help me to take care of cats and myself.then I see all of them lie to me,use me to have peace for their families,have fun with my face for his friends,or release guilty by my pressure for his lovers.

Yesterday I was lying on the floor,don't wanna anything especially my life.but how about cats? I need to keep moving.when my life is worthless for you,stay away from me or kill me,don't try to shame me by your mistakes.

I stand up,pick up,cover up,break up and make up,but never feel it's real,happy,strong,good and right,but a shell,toy,doll,tool and even nothing.a plant even live more freely than I do.Every time when I feel hurt by foreigners, I just lie to myself that it's American and America and foreigners' special status, they don't mean it to you and you just need to understand.then I think that's not true.that's not only theirs,but also mine.each time when I step back from hurts they hurt me more than that.they treat me as nothing so I have to be nothing? They treat me as communist so I need to be communist? They treat me as a whore so I need to be a whore?why I need to satisfy them always?Everybody!why I must satisfy you always!anybody? Because you hate China,Chinese and communism ,because you are disgusting ?

I'm not a philosopher, even have an empty head when sun rising up in my eyes .why sky is more blue when sunshine starts to shine in the morningw,hy dust of universe is so huge like a planet being a sun , what I am?I'm what?what's in my side?

Either all the Chinese who believe in communists is a tree which growing up by communism or all the world people who believe in God is a tree which growing up by Jesus,whatever communism Chinese and communists call someone who accept American being corrupted or capitalism American and capitalists call someone who join in Chinese being corrupted,God takes care of who believe in him and not vigorously,Chinese take care of who believe in communism and not shabbily, but they all want&need sun&power and money&weapons as poison&drugs.don't know if it's a start of bad things or the end of bad things or not,but it will last for a very long time,perhaps till earth disappears or all survivors on the earth immigrant to other planets before it's too late.American is the one who love themselves most so faithfully and Chinese is the one who respect themselves most so bravely.luckily or not I'm neither of them,but don't wanna to be bitchese between A and C,neither.so, blogerese is fine.but A and C,none of them are completely good or right.