After rescuing the kitten I made a dream that night.in a college which only had female students, at nights when some winds started to blow girls turned into someone else who had yellow eyes like cats,but not cats,evil offensive and like animals.when sun rise they turned into human, they knew what they were at night and some of them were very sacred of it and asked me for help who only wanted to escape from there.

Last night was the first 7 day of grandma's funeral.Chinese Taoism believes that in that midnight the soul of dead comes back to visit families and who they love and when they have something undone they will ask for help by dreams, or bless them and say good bye ,or hurt them.because cats are around me I think grandma can't get closer to me,Precious cilley meow angrily about 2 a.m. after running like a horse among rooms,I think she saw somethings, perhaps grandma.after that in my dreams she used shell of her alive daughter who's my aunt to find me and piss off on my way to school when I put water for homeless cats in the corner ,looked like she already knew I have 5 cats in my room  secretly and she told me to move out angrily.after that I dreamed the abandoned empty room which was the adopted kitten stayed was cleaned by someone who wanted to build a school by it.

Last Sunday at this time grandma still lived, in the evening she would die. Today I don't feel right at all.strengthened and strenthless and sad.nothing to miss when I miss.suddenly feel parents and me all get old quickly this week.after 4months it will be 38 years for me.and the world's still going to be the right side everyday. I can even feel its energy.

Why people would rather trusting lie when they know it's a lie? Why people would rather to be happy for a lie than being happy for truth? why people would rather trusting lies to cover truth than trusting truth itself?

Cause lies are stupid lies,truth is wise truth,people are real people.by truth they can see they are stupid, but hard to see how much stupid they are.when they become too stupid to see them,what they can trust are only themselves.

It's okay when you can't forgive, because it's what God does.I can't forgive ,but I can forget.