I'm sorry for saying that I'm a Chinese but I'm Not a communist.Because I'm not a communist so I'm Not a Chinese.Thanks.

I remembered when I was a girl why I was so skinny,because every time when I was hungry ,mom stopped me eating and got angry that all food was for dad and his friends ,but she ate them all when dad was drunk and didn't care me a little bit.I only remember I think the best way for me when I was a little girl to suicide is to keep myself starving to die and they will not feel guilty about it. after I grow up I chose to forget them,so I can focus on taking care of them especially mom who chooses to telling me good things she did like that how difficult she survived, how difficult she gave me birth and how difficult she took care of me,but I was almost dead by her cares times because of her carelessness and mistakes, she sometimes still laughed about them when she tells them to me,and says I should repay her everything I have for her giving birth to me.but last weekends she piss off again when she treated dad badly again. Dad works everyday and only has 2 days for rests and she still likes him to do lot a of house works and says it's a revenge for her house works she did in the past everyday,dad chooses to suffer it as usual.I choose to protect dad again and told her it's too inhuman to do it,she feels being betrayed for her cooks which I eat and wats she thinks she treats me well. she's attacking me again and stops me eating what she buys at home as usual when she robs to eat everything I buy as a mom who should eat all I have especially fish, meats and milk ,because she thinks everything dad does in his life is her rewards for revenge she dosa like a wife of his, I should not be shared with her. Honestly she doesn't pay anything she has most of money being used for bills is dad's.she makes little retired payment from ccp but always love them.she's so happy to see me using my money to take care of them but saving her money with keeping dad's money in her pocket and says it's for her to take care of her disease.every month she only needs to buy expensive pills to heal her diabetes and she never mentions it.dad pays the bills of renting apartment, water, electrics and gas.I pay internet bills, food and snacks.actually I stop eating meat for stopping hurting animals  ,then I see after that she becomes worried and pushes me to eat meat, even mix meat in her cooks and don't tell me there's meat in it when I told her I have promised I don't eat meat if I eat meat it's not good for myself ,because I don't buy meat anymore. After last weekend I event eaten what she buys anymore.in this morning I only ate bits of steam bread ,an egg and milk which I bought for them.I don't touch her things and cooks anymore. In her minds she should have all I have and I should not touch all her heave including my dad who can be treated in any way , she doesn't do anything anymore and everything she does is for paying back as a selfish, masking and puzzling her brains wife, mom, daughter, it makes me feel sick. I never have a normal relationship with anyone here but insane communication. I don't understand why mom attacks me when I protect dad who is attacked by her, so I don't wanna to have anyone around me to be attacked  because of protecting me.because for someone who are shit think I don't deserve to have , to be protected .it's indeed sick.why someone make me feel that if someone else die,suffer and hurt they must  live, be and feel better? Are they mad?

The kitten appeared this morning,thank God for it.she prefers fish cans than chicken livers ,so I left them there.she almost missed them, then suddenly looked like her nose coming back and smelled the smell of fish when she was going to escape away.and started to look for it and found them in the end.happy.but I met another weak kitten today, dirty and skinney.doesn't like fish cans but chicken legs ,more scared than her and needs more help when there will be a big rain on this Friday.her mom ignores her when she only asked fish can from me which I took for her kitten.planed to spay her tomorrow but perhaps after the rains will be fine, cause wet weather doesn't help for the wounds to be healed and easily being infected by mud when I set her free from the vet.God bless all the cats, God bless fox.

When I tell ccp s evil killing Chinese and don't care them a little bit and bad things they do in China,parents always piss off and threat me to move out and says why do you wanna all Chinese to die and why not go to America where's good as you think, they still are effected by ccp seriously, and aren't themselves.they even don't know who are their daughter now, as desperado being controlled.

Ccp doesn't separate families apart, ccp gets into them and laugh at me to take care of my families which are not them when they push them to die for itself.