Mr fox starts to heal in hospital today.lots of pains. I think his disease which is cancer is still changing, and changing so much. perhaps not only being need Radiotherapy,but also operations to cut on the Tumor which is still growing.but God, they must work well, give him back to me.I don't wanna to be alone again,unless I have to.Let cancer go, fox. Let me go. don't give up and keep trying always.don't go.not your time.everything will be all right .

this morning when I checked cats, one white cat didn't show up. but the white cat which had missed for almost one week appeared in another area.he's going to get inside of that Residential area which live full of communists when I was on my way home.and there were still some food left in my hands for him.thank God.

When coronavirus appears it's the time that billions Chinese can't pay to almost 1 billion communists for their high payments,retired payments and extra awards including how much they corrupt to use and have abroad. When there're wars, China and people in it will be in bottom of the hell.but, when I see homeless and stray cats settle and hide in the empty buildings which have been there for years as ghosts and can't be sold for too high prices ,which are abandoned and locked by Chinese Party of communism which say it's their property and nobody can rent and touch, which have no windows glasses like skulls standing like death waiting me to compromise, even though there are rats in them, I think if all Chinese or human in isolated China  die, or are zombie and crimes, at least it's good for animals , for plants,for bugs to live on more better than before.it's A good thing which I have wishes for a very long time, return this planet to life which they owe, not life which think they owe this planet when they don't love it but destroy it at all.

everytime when dad asks me to take care of mom, I can't refuse and can't leave her alone.but everytime when mom says I eat their food,live their rooms with so many cats and spending so much money for cats and curse and blame me for it and does best to kick us out of her life,I want to piss off but have to depress myself for it. everytime when I use my money to buy food ,pay bills for them and do houseworks for them and tell them all they want and should and need to know to be better person,she only laughes at me and requestes more and never stop look me down.she never wants to communicate with me,like that I'm not her kid.but dad does.but she likes to do anything on him including hurting me,harming me and even trying to kill me and cats.when dad hurts her, I stood by her most of time when I was a LITTLE girl and nobody came to her even her sisters and brothers who look like treating her well.it makes me hesitate.and she said I'm her only sweetheart.she betrays me by her behaviors.she never tells truth.it's why I never trust female, and stay away from male, I don't wanna male to be hurt by me again by female when I'm female.I know dad loves her.but she only likes dad to die for his everything else.for it she can even kill him.of course she wants to kill me who doesn't hate dad honestly by being used to hurt him also.and she hurts dad worse,because dad helps me a lot indeed to success, to live on,dad gave me money when i quit communism job which she Instigated dad to connect his friend in the communism military by sending all his money out to trap me in it without telling me in front.because she knows I MUST refuse and quit.if I didn't quit , she knows I would be killed in it who fights against communism if I quit, she can use it to depress me in rest of all my life and dad's. to shame all of us. it's her plan. and when I thought her nephew wasn't like her but a good kid and told him that I would quit the job, he raped me for years, i was from a virgin to a whore of his,until i aborted my first kid. she knows he fights against her for me,not only because she hurts me, but also I help her.I still see her face when she was told that I quit the communims job in communism military, suprised, felt disguesting,then proud of her Strategy.she mustn't know i was raped by her nephew, and I know he doesn't even care about what she thinks.cause he then becomes a communism police.and they even don't connect each other, but they can know what they think about one thing.it's not only about they have blood ties,but also about they are Chinese who only have communism in them, Chinese communism, evil communism, demons' communism.they are not themselves anymore but something who believe only ccp can give them a bright future.

I think she's a curse for me and dad.although this family is not blessed . dad is hurt most,I can't avoid when I should have been hurt so much by her but stay away from her.but she hurts dad so badly to keep him with her, harming him, even killing him, I'm effected badly, too.she can and wants to hurt me by hurting dad, except communism I don't know what makes her so mad or she's just born to hate, nobody is.so,family and friends,home,husband who can bring wife and kids a stable place to live, everything which can make me settle down are only flowers in mirror. beautiful, but hard to be real.the only one I can use, it's myself.