[18:01,Oct 11]God bless fox letting cancer cells all go, let cancer cells let him go.

I think fox will not come back China for me and cats again. He has a third grand daughter who he loves most now, and protect her from me.I don't wanna to hurt her or anybody,neither,but if I mean to hurt anybody, I will leave first.I'm sad and have tears in my eyes.if it's God's wills, I accept it.and I respect his choices.because I know he loves his families more than everything anybody else in this word except God.his dad was in China before, I know he must came here once in his life. I tried to refuse him to come, but never made it until he came here for the first time.everyone like him and he makes me proud, his dad must be proud of him for being an American.

I'm happy for him and pray them having a good future which I hope they have from the very beginning cause they deserve it. I never have a friend for so long a time like he does.he's the first one I had or have for 5 years, I do my best to hold him back, but in the end more tightly I holed  ,more better to let him go.for himself.

Never their faults.I know nobody could stays with me for every.but every time when they leave and disappear, I still hurt more and more.

Never stay with me long, so never hurt me by it.being alone and lonely isn't another kind of hurts more than that? Even me do not like my life to be alone and lonely, who will like to be with me for it?

Dreamed of this song last night.I only cared my feelings of separate, how do I know others don't feel more hurts than I do.I must be strong enough.