[7:01,Nov 9]my dad says who leave China whatever they are corrupted communists or Chinese or communism is strong, capable or has ball. 

They don't have duty or responsibility to throw down a line for Chinese in China to get out of China or rocks to kill the rest indeed.

I never like or accept anything dad says and does in his life.when I hear it this time, I can't say anything about it to him when feeling depressed.

Yes. everyone becomes themselves,whatever they want or not. In China everyone is victim of communism, but a lot of victims become crimes again and prefer to do best coping communists by corrupting for getting out of here and admire and raise up communists who corrupt their money and lives to leave this country like my dad, die like a god, like Mao Zedong, act like an America, be like every of them abroad.like a trap.

But. when life recognizes that it's somewhere locks it down and there's a bigger world for it, like seeds growing up trhough the gaps of stones and break them down, insticnt of life which always be alive towards clean lights,breath fresh air, drink natural water and pray to unique God.

is there anything which could be done once and then everything could be fixed completely? like a movie? the longest movie is hours, can't be as long as lifetime, as earth, as universe.life is short, but if it's short enough why I can't see it all when I am alive, or even die?

[6:39,Nov 10]Then I realize that followers could never understand each other online when I saw one of them ban another one who love cats also but don't like to show for being famous and bullied her.it makes me sick and don't wanna to touch Twitter again.

But yes,how many times I read Chinese and Chinese foreigners abroad ban each other when they bully each other and talk about Chinese China for own reasons under the name of anti communists when showing their proud lives abroad? Many .is it sick enough for them to stop them a little bit when they look happy?

I'm a woman waiting for marry when I can't find my true love but I'm not man to do great things when I can do something . Is life equal in this way?

When does money become the only way towards freedom to leave China for Chinese without love care respect and God? By money to buy green cards, buy being a foreigner, buy rests of lives abroad in China and become a rawhide to beat Chinese for working harder and harder for rich or poor communists and their families and workers to have a luxury and good life outside of this country? When does bad evil painful experiences become the basements of games of fame for internet users  without honest humor and modesty?  When does power become the only way to have freedom also for free and superiority without God, cheats,lies, betray, rape,blackmail, murders, from when the final way of communism system or something else is the only thing making tornados to destroy everything in this place or the world ?Why I feel I'm so stupid by these in this way? Rich and powerful people can be the same ones which are called communists, only talking about how to seperate black from white, is it any reasonable but being mad for being a fool?