dad just got mad two days,who.mom got mad again.she said she doesn't feel good and she doesn't wanna to see me and my face everyday ,she wants to buy a house, in rules of communism for retired soldiers like dad when you buy a house already you can't rent army's house with lower price anymore,she says communism government has cheaper places to sell for someone like me who has no job,no income,only 370,000CNY can buy 2 rooms,a bathroom and a kitchen to live.

What,she even ate and cook garbage for all if us,and think 0.6CNY white cabbages is too expensive,would rather making us starve especially me than to buy and cook some good food in her whole life and use me and take advantage of me to buy snacks and meat and cloths by the making noises and threating to hurt cats and throw them away everytime,now she says 60,000dollars for places to live is cheap?i run out of money to take care of all of us,zero every time in my account,now she means she has more than 370,000CNY in her's , dad gives her most of retired payment also every month in all his life.

She fears to do so on us,all the money which comes from bad ways need worse wats to go.she wanna to clean them by it,get out of guilty of the way she makes them, like last time she gave a big money to army for buying me a job without telling me,and forced me to work in the army until I quit on my own after about  2 years.like some communists who corrupt money then immigrant abroad.Chinese are innocent?but basing on their behaviors why I think Chinese and communists are all the same

I think if she feels good she would not be herself anymore.when dad marries her and I was young she cried everyday and night in my eyes,she doesn't  like her life and sometimes she says she marries dad for saving her so many hungry families by dad who was in army  made a lot to feed all of them.they even would divorce,but I stopped it.perhaps I have half blood of mom ,so I don't like dad lies ,again and again and again,I even made dreams I argued with dad about it and damaged the tv which broadcasted communism tv shows when all of them were watching at.in dreams they even had no reflection on it but still stared at the tv when I left.

Parents and me don't have an easy life till now together,and it will almost have an end soon,now she wants to do something else,buying a new place to live for her by excuses to have good moods when she dies so many bad things,by excuses to give me a better future, I think she fear something still,which will happen.how about she doesn't like the new place?how about my life will get worse instead of getting better?anytime she has or try to have responsibilities on them?including her phew raped me? She doesn't even wanna to know that but always blame and curse me when she thinks always I want to hurt and harm him and do something wrong on him.we are paying her fear and guilty for us always by everything which she only has 500 dollars retired payment a month which can do nothing to live in this city,and me,even can't make 100 dollars one month normally.it's not a choice.she says everybody she knows have lots of houses to live,she wants to do it also.but why she doesn't tell me why everyone she knows in her mouth has so much money which come from their communism jobs and connects.why she doesn't tell me why China sell lots of stuffs abroad many years and make lots of dollarsb by low price of Chinese labours and bad damages of nature, but why Chinese communists and their relatives get more and more in pockets, Chinese people become poor and poor in pockets when prices of everything in China are more expensive and expensive in this country!

Not everybody suits using money to buy new places to move for a good future,like me,like parents,I think.we insist on living here for so long a time,it will have an end soon,I think living somewhere till dead is my life,legally .I like this way to live,it's real life to have a ground,a garden,a house,born in it and die in it,even though it's a place by rent from Chinese Party of communism.when it crushes down it will change ,perhaps.I prefer to do anything to make her happy than to move here.she hates everything about us already,a new place with us changes nothing but only costing all of money,what I love and cares and take care of,I will be heart broken for them ,how about cats,they will throw them away and homeless cats,they will starve and thirsty.is it her real purpose? Perhaps yes,but it's her problem that she always piss off when she see me who's a failure in her life,nothing,but a mistake.nobody else should pay for that,especially cats.so leave them alone.