Crying and waking up from dreaming parents last night.cry for parents who raise up and teach me to fight against themselves who know there's something wrong in China by communism by obeying it,who know it's the only right and safe way for me to grow up.dreaming that parents are the ones who love me only and even die for me instead of communism governments which only request me to die for them.to fight against me is to love me and push me away from the edges of hells and even don't care if they will fall in it by doing it or not.my parents are not  like heros' parents who have power to destroy world and don't care if they will destroy their children or not ,neither.I'm not a hero anyway.and not a badass,neither.between hero and badass there's no more difference unless they notice what they have done to their parents .hero knows what it is before they do it when badass doesn't know what it is after they do it.I'm sorry ,mom, dad.

I think I try my best.but shouldn't it has been worse than this?shouldn't Chinese Party of communism has all responsibility if it is the most evil thing in the world? Shouldn't I want communism to disappear when don't wanna America to be hurt? Nothing has done yet,is it time to give everything up?