Honestly, I think of my whole past life last night , if I dont tell anybody that I want to go to America someday because China sucks and communism is bad and America and American are good,justice,full of faith , hope,respect and right and will kick ass of ccp with God's help into hell someday from my childhood in China which is a communism country , I would already be in America and might have a life in the host of America like any other Chinese and communists in America now .is it why everybody thinks that I'm crazy only btw?

it's why they do something first before I can move on next when they know and believe what I tell is true and I need to make it happen . They force and threat and make me change into what they want and need and like me to be,push me to go to communism schools and colleges,set me up joining in Chinese Party of Communism and working in communism military for what they believe--ccp until I was graduated and left there on my own.even though I'm still in China as something or someone I want to change communism and communists into goodness and kindness,give it up and start a new beginning.

Actually I think my cousin on my mother side raped me for fears of Chinese Party of communism,so are the others who bully me in China.cause they knows Chinese communists like to punish all relationships and connects of someone who fight against them.in history they kill whole families for only one of them in communism culture revolution.Chinese families,Chinese friends , Chinese fear to be hurt or killed by Chinese communists by telling truth and say no to them. so they hurt me and try to kill me who are troubles. they join ccp and service it to show their loyalty under the name of love,like what they do to me and homeless animals.just being a curse for everyone, whom hurts and even kills what and who they love&trust or love&trust them most can have a higher level status in communism Party,after my cousin raped me and I abort the kid he becomes a communism police and treats me as a stranger he never sees as a communism wish unless I agree to be his lover when he marries.I refuse him.I think Chinese Party of communism's existence is always based on lies and betray for their own power and benefits when it's getting worse.

Someone says my life is a tragic, I thought it was, but now I think life is a tragic for someone who tell wrong as right and stop others telling the truth.

Someone says I'm a victim,yeah,they are right.but I still have choices to be someone who fight against criminals I suffer for the others from suffering instead of looking for victims as another criminal to make more victims.