People often say when you have the worst lucks and dying or can't live on before giving up in your life you always have the best pasts in your eyes.But I only have the most anger in my heart because I don't want to let them go.

Now I think they are curses and laughs from the cousin who says you will still be my sister in next life after raped me and the classmate who says I should have raped you first that night after he heard I was raped by the cousin when I was a virgin .they mean that I will never get a job,live on, immigrant where I want to be ,find true love and marry and have kids in this life like they do.and they mean that I only deserve to be lied,played,cheated,betrayed and killed when they do and want me to do these to myself .the only reason they tell me in opposite ways is that they believe I will not understand them until they completely escape and hide from me with their families and friends who want more from me than they can have and I can give .

I am shit who is punished by what I have done still .I pay and repend for them still .I'm still Myself.Whatever I deserve them or not,I still dislike anybody else using name of Justice to satisfy themselves and sacrifice the others ,using name of God to benefit themselves and tempt the others ,using name of Freedom to please themselves and trap anybody else for themselves.