[16:19.6.7.2021]Perhaps grandma knows thtat I can't cry , so she rains, perhaps grandma knows that rains make me cry, so she stops it.

love of parents are like love of this world,of this universe, of God, are love of this world,of this universe, of God. they love this world, this universe,God,because they love their parents,not because they love their parents for loving this world, this universe and God.

grandma,grandma,grandma her life in this world is ended, it's her time to start to be in another one.

i know it's wrong to try to stop me being sad and crying, dropping tears by making someone beat me, hurt me and even kill me for me to feel better. but I can't stop it by myself, somewhere inside is empty, but I don't know why it doesn't hurt. 

Someone say sorry to me about your death.I'm not happy but sad more when I think they notice I'm sad when I don't know if they are sad for me or not.

grandma.you are so impoart to me, you know? if  your grandson he raped me after you died I would like to kill him that day 10 years ago. if he piss me off tomorrow a little bit on your funeral for just one second, after tomorrow he can regret why he isn't born in hell forever.but I know whom planed it together have been punished. So , I will do nothing but pray my baby to be in heaven and stop torture them. it's not his/her fault.they aren't worth.They can't hurt him/her anymore. I love him/her, I never regret that I had and aborded him/her.just move forward and be free.the 7 days when you were in my belly were the only light time in the 3 years' darkness.