Hard to believe that someone use that calling someone else mental disorder psychosis to control them, to rule them, to order,force,tempt them to do and say something which are not their nature.honestly perhaps I'm not single minded enough to love or marry or build a family with a man and perhaps I always desire someone who can touch my heart especially.but it doesn't mean I mean to be treated as a bitch or bad woman.is it too tired for someone to be with me all the time by pretending someone touching my heart , or just worrying I will leave him someday for another man who isn't worthy for me,it's why someone said I can't find someone who treat me well like them anymore? Can divination tell everything about my life?

Cats treat me well, in ways which doesn't suit human world, in ways which aren't human world's way.they love me in their ways ,in cat's way.it makes me feel safe,and real,and they love me honestly.

Do others who treat me well because of being stupid, being arrogance,being ignorance? Because someday they don't wanna the same things which happen on me happen on their families? 

What do I fear? If I stood on my ground and worked in communism military still would I defeat them and win anything? In the last images of my dreams a beautiful woman who was loyal and rich but embarrassed and poor then sitting on a chair in a line as an actor peeing in a basin under the chair on the ground for money when numb others in line doing other shows who never took a look at her and caring what happening around, each other them had a viewer in front of them and computer screen which showed movies, songs, her viewer was a thin girl who looked like an insane joker girl who looked  like Harley Quinn,laughed and smiled for what she did and how she felt.Before it happened some people escape from a big place which was dangerous because of something disasters.

Then dreams told me that anything about ghosts in real life is Not truth especially,is Not what they image,and show in medias.don't even believe or trust politics,how could I believe or trust other medias like movies ,they live in spaces? Perhaps now I'm like the drinker in the movie Independence Day 1996, everyone gets closed to me till the end of the movie unless I get back my dignity.

But I'm Not a star which I aren't, I'm who I am as only I can.some human are like this, only when they know truth when they hurt by it they stop laughing each other and hurting someone who tell truth.do they even deserve truth? Or it's just faith to tell truth.