I think it's love when a male doesn't touch my body when I don't want it .then after years I think he thought the same thing like I did, until I know love isn't only about body, but heart. I think I don't love anybody, because nobody can touch my heart, so can't touch my body. but how about I'm just the one who don't know how to touch hearts of the others who want or wish me to do it when they think I know how or love them ,too?

Perhaps all I know and think and being taught which it's right and normal and use to obey or follow in my life, is wrong,will be wrong.because what kind of lies can be transparent between truth and heart? Like air between earth and universe?

Like my parents who think loving ccp and communism is loving me and loving themselves, protecting ccp is protecting me and themselves. The only connect with each other in communism is the last humanity and instinct left, as zombies of communism virus . so called blood ties , so called love, is their desire like blood . everything is twisted in this country. Or turn. But only communists are whom turn into being worst from being worst.

When there's trust ,there's lie to be punished by God .But when there's no trust, there's only ignorance to be judged by demons.

Is human just an employee or property of a company's which is called heaven&hell? is it how human world runs? Now Chinese Party of communism is a losing-control robert.