[19_40,12_15,2021] I talked with dad in dinner.I asked him about what he said that if Chinese communism Party breaks down what could.be do how could he live without retired payments and social assurances from it, how about his money from Chinese communism Party will disappear before it breaks down, if someday he would have no money to live on because Chinese Party communism stops and can't give him any social assurance any more when they take most of money escape abroad and hide always until it breaks down?

An dead Chinese in ancient time said thinking more,worrying less,but how about thinking wrongly, more thinking, more worried, more wrongly stepping further.

Dad says if I get sick I could not even get being healed because no money no assurance when it's too expensive to go to hospital. And all human can get sick whatever how much strong you are.I told him the day I get sick it'll be the day I die.he shuts up.

When people love each other, even if they don't love me, it makes me wanna to live on, to fight , having faith.to love each other is to save my life.but in Chinese circles online,I only see crowds of fishes mess up water in the bottom and doing best to covering themselves up from something or someone else , it shows up for me as reading things being confused,terrified,scared,fear,arrogance,ignorance,have fun,violence,blame,curse,madness,jokes,communism and poison words, and even lie and betrays.lie and betray and kill make me uncomfortable even when it's lie to bad ones and betray dangerous ones, or even kill evil ones.

Chinese communism Party effects so much abroad? Or it is&has so big a pproblem? or these Chinese abroad are so important for foreign countries and governments? Anything else?