[19-44,12-28,2021]

The paste works well . I booked Another one.and now pray the boy cat which's weak will be fine tommorw when I go to check cats and him in the early morning with wet cans.it will be -10℃ that time.challenges for all of us.

I guess the rat woman who feed cats there also feed him the same medicines to him for pee, and it's too much for him and both of his legs couldn't move.the ill missing girl cat hasn't appeared still when I check cats twice every day to give them more food when the rat woman left less overleft food which is made by her garbage of her restaurant.

God bless all of cats and dogs . I don't give up there.

[13-03,12-28,2021]

last night water pipe is broken, I booked the paste which is 1CNY only to try to fix it and it would be delivered today.

Mom was crazy when she saw it happen, her first reflection was to call dad back instead of closing the water pipe first. It's not that bad.and she kept screaming everything's over and called dad but frozen there when she kept talking calling dad back until I took her phone and called dad finally. and dad was crazy when he got the phone, he put everything of his works down and cost 50CNY to buy something which doesn't help at  all and looked for workers to fix it, everyone wants 300CNY from him who's worried a lot.But I planed to take a showershower that morning, so I took a shower when mom tried to stop me again to use water. if I could leave them, they should take care of them well in the end.I can't stay with them always, like what they say to me.

I talked with dad after dinner. I told him I don't get ill again in China, don't give birth in China, don't die in China. Cause whatever in Chinese communism hospitals, in beds or in graves,for me nobody treats me as a human, but only wanting money in my pickets.nobody treats me and makes me feel I'm a human being. When I was a kid I was ill badly, got fever all the time and even dying times in hospitals when doctors used medicines and tools on me.I couldn't remember anything .but I remember I ate lots of pills, medicines, had lots of shots with big needles and tests, infusion.I would rather to be an old pregnant female abroad than to be a teenager mom in China.

I was very rebelliouss when I was a little girl. I still feel when I act rebellious they will keep healing me to death like that. But I was rebellious and I know it, I couldn't stop being myself for fears of this communism country. And communists. I more fought back , more they healed me. Someone tell me I'm crazy, yes.perhaps from my childhood my head has been already crazy because of the medicines communists gave to my parents and feed me, perhaps I will never leave China and corrupt till I die both inside and outside, perhaps Chinese Party of communism will never disappear and it will be better and better and become the only last unique hope of the world, perhaps I'm always cat mom and have no kid in my life after my parents die I will be homeless with my cats, but I don't care. And it doesn't stop me to stay away Chinese Party of communism and hurt it, and dann it to hell in my own life. I even suspect that I didn't get that sick,they just want me to be their political tool for my talent of being a human kind, until I wanted to die for something worthy without being healed anymore.they stopped tortured me.And I'm alive till now.

My parents might regret to save me.they might want me to die when I was a kid when they know what I want to do now.my mom even tries to stop me to wash bowls with dish soap and tells me it's not clean. I tell her there are full of dirty things in and outside our bodies, they don't kill you ,you don't die, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

[5-50,12-27,2021]

there Are two ancient Chinese prophecy talking about plagues coming from places of rrivers and cause lots of life die.

Does someone use them to kill people for own purposes? If it's punishment from God and heaven, I don't think it's just some little dead unless it's human made.

[2-28,12-28,2021]

Why?