[12-23,1-21,2022]

Population of Chinese was and still is mission of Chinese Communism Party for Chinese, it harms too much,even life for my parents being born in 1950s know Chinese communism Party treat them as property , but if someday Chinese communism Party sell them and they could even celebrate for it.every step of my life and every breath I take by every second for my parents is proving that Chinese Communism Party is 'right', even including life of my parents.when they are proud of me  it's for communism, when they are shame of me it's for communism also and it's why they wanna me to work for Chinese Communims Party always.it's wrong for me.whether they divorce or not, whatever communim is destroyed or not, they will live on by it in rest of their lives and never change, it doesn't make any sense to live for a theory, politics and murders.it isn't worthy for me to live for someone or something like this and it's why I wanna to kill myself by living here sometimes.I don't fear death, if my life is going on in my parents' way again and will never change, I accept it, but never scared of it.

[8-18,1-21,2022]

Born as myself, alive as myself, die as myself.No body could control it including me.

Don't like my parents judge me about how much I love them by money, about everything, and treat me as political enemy who's their own kid me for food , for water, for stuffs and for materials to eat, to drink to use and to live in.

Although they starve and suffer or even dying in communism revolution in 20 century, but it's not my fault or the reason and excuse why they treat me badly for communism.

[1-28,1-21,2022]

Sometimes what I have doesn't make me proud,but only shame.

I remind today I read a Chinese post on local area communism Chinese internet about a Korean movie which is called 'Way Back Home' 2013 that being alive and dead is politics  years ago, instead of posting God or religions or belief, it only makes me wanna to die , even though I know they are both fucking bullshit of politics.

Honestly whatever Chinese Party of communism will end soon or not, whatever which country is the super country or not, whatever who's saint of China in the future, my life is my life, me is me,cat is still cat.

Even if human being could write history, history still could not be rewritten by or for human being.

[1-14,1-21,2022]

Philosophy is wisdom which has an answer, but religion is truth which can't. Human could be told who they are, but God can't be.Human could be known what they do, God can't be.

More truth, more difficult to believe for me.

Sometimes the most dangerous trees are not these young trees growing up, but trees seem strong huge and good with worms corrupted dead pith.they fall down suddenly.

[7-30,1-14,2022]

Only I use my money to buy food for stray cats and dogs and spay them when others accept food and money from the others,  only I take care ill weak old stray cats and dogs by fish cans and chicken livers which I cook on my own when others feed them happily and leave quickly after puting overdraft food of restaurants which they cooperate with.only i feed cats dogs which are picky and bullied by other dogs by chicken meats and soup every day.Only I stop to pat and feed stray cats ans dogs when others put food water for them then driving away quickly. Only I check then at earlier morning and lunchtime every day. Only I buy food and stuffs for parents who need me to pick up the packages in cold weathers when they called taxi to get home after I asked their help to pick up them.Only I do everything for them and get only blames and cursed and shit for thanks when they only listen to what others say who are kids of their sisters and brothers. Only I make no trouble for anybody when I'm  always the trouble for anybody else which is wanted to get rid of and screwed up.I satisfy by it, because of my greed and closed-minded.