{8-58,1-25,2022}

two cats are missing.the white cat disappears three earlier morning. I cried every time when I waited him in the cold morning winds, thought of him being hungry and haven't eaten well for 3 days.I need to keep look for him until he appears again for me.

Cats never be late unless I'm late.

{16-43,1-24,2022}

last night I told dad there's no reason for me to compare with others who pay more for what they gain, it's not fair. I have my own life which's God's will and never can't be changed so easily by Taoism or other ways like wizards when for them my birth is only a communism mission for them,too.I will never marry for the others or Chinese Party of communism until I find who I love when he loves me, I know when parents were young they married each other for missions of communism Party's, introduce of communists and allowance of them and communism families both.when the others feel I'm lovely my mom only wants to pity me. my mom doesn't pity me for pity, but for shaming me, cause she only respects communists and never like me who's not .or why she doesn't pity others who need her fucking pity as communists but scared of them? It's my life also if God sends parents like this to me, whatever how much I don't like them, how much bad I treat them when they are alive and how much i miss them after they die, none of their business. dad didn't say anything, he only said if he knows the kid is me before I was born  he would never let me come into this world.

My dad isn't only a drunker, but also a liar, a communist.I thought my parents are crazy for communism, now I see they are also liars, so they can be communists,even by drunk and arguments to confuse me ,to lead me wrong and to cover it up, like a bitch and asshole, actually more worse, communists. I tell truth all the time , not only following the truth, but also it's the only way to keep me from being harmed by the others.

If it's their life not to divorce as a couple of communism when they are alive, perhaps it must be a sign for Chinese Party of communism to end someday when they die, unless they change.