[1-24,1-5,2021]

perhaps because I become like this ,so for me love becomes like this.It's not love when I see it's love, it's love showing me to me.

Indeed wanna to leave this place, this home, this country,this planet, so many  accusations which I can't take : when I wanna and to make others happy, they only call me freak crazy mad or anything else and stay away from me.

Honestly I just feel like that most of people must feel happy when someone like me who is a poor ugly normal and no background don't like them or wanna to make them friends or boyfriends or marry or husband.So i wanna them to be happy whatever they like me or not.they envy me, I will not marry a good man, they hate me,I will not leave for freedom, they expect on me, I will not study or work with God,they laugh at or fear me, I will not be myself to tell the truth.they hurt and wanna killing me, I will not let who change them into demons go for revenge.People always change for the others.Only me keeps the same for themselves.

[17-33,1-4,2021]

the cousin tells me to sex a lot with him can be loved, fox1 tells me to believe destiny can be loved, fox2 tells me to become very bad  can be loved, hedgehog tells me to share time very long can be loved.etc etc etc etc, if it's love what is it Not? Everybody looks like they love in ways of someone else for love of someone else's. The world is like a love system, not the world.

Hope not. Sometimes it has fun, too. Especially when someone think I fall in trap of love but they fall in love of trap.

Love is used too much. I don't wanna to blame anybody for it.but whatever love or not, just tell the truth. Not to tell the truth for avoiding hurting feelings and benefits for each other and even the world, if it's not hypocritical, what is it? Even if love wants everything, does it deserve to be used like this? Should love be like this? Love for purposes, purposes for love, when does love become like that?

[11-01,1-4,2021]

Chinese are a lot. More Chinese communists close China and lockdown more Chinese inside for free labors by lies and nationalism, cheats and traps, more Chinese ignore the world.more Chinese are against the 'unknown' world which is the world by what they know from Chinese communists.then there will be the war between Chinese and the world.to avoid the war is to let Chinese know the truth which are covered up, open China and see the world on their own, give up yourselves and fucking communism dreams.for own morality, belief, purposes and making own dreams come true by making laws, rules, principles and using a whole country to do, work , service and sacrifice for them, if it's not dictatorship or tyranny what is it?