{17-31,3-12,2022}

stop updating and start to updating on another blog.thanks for everything here.

{1-29,3-12,2022}

Yesterday I used my left money which I wanted to buy a peach can for myself buying bread, milk and pan cake for parents who told me they wanna to eat when feeling weak , dad has a peach can and he said he would share with me today when he refused to share it with me yesterday, then he blames me with mom for it and said they would share with me tomorrow.

I expected them to keep their words every time, just because I don't wanna to believe that they are lying, to me. It sucks .

On one side they blame and curse me being shit for nothing to do, no job ,no money, no car, no house, no marriage, no kid when on another side they take all sources from me to live, to survive, to make money for enjoying, to make communism friends for fun, to keep relationship for communism power, to service Chinese Party of communism, by and to support communists in this area, streets, town, city, province and the country who give them money to betray ,to lie, to cheat, to bully, to blackmail and hurt me.

I thought they protected me by covering me up ,that's why they corrupt with Chinese Party of communism by shows.then I see who cover me up is not them, what they do is as same as Chinese Party of communism for themselves by taking or using me or selling me.they are sacrificing me for communism and they never are satisfied. Even if I'm a victim, I aren't innocent, i need to pay for it, too.

{16-37,3-11,2022}

100% ambition , 100% destroy.

100% power , 100% corruption.

100% of 100% for oneself, best of the best for oneself, purest of purest for oneself, isn't a little better than 100% oneself for someone else, for God, for angels. 

This is why human is human instead of being animals, demons and monsters.

{19-10,3-10,2022}

after dreaming my mother calling me when I put food for cats, this morning a cat which waits me at the same place every time when I pass by called me again from the same direction, sounds like: hey, are you putting food for cats, could I have some? Then I put food down, she jumps on the desk and starts to eat them all.

I never take care of cats or being cat mom, perhaps for me,they are my mom.they take care of me instead, teach me how to love, remind me God's everywhere. That's what my friends so to me, too.

{16-47,3-10,2022}

the world, everybody takes much more from each other than what they have day after day, time after time, respect, care, love, money, power, imagine, trust, time, faith, patience, attention, civilization, compassion competition imagination,  even sadness, tears snd blood, everything.first, virus, then, wars, there might be a hand to make them happen, the point is whose hand? God's? Or hand of (sons of ) bitches?

Some (foreign) Chinese and communists post on Twitter that the 8-kids chained Chinese woman said'the world left her ' , 'the world abandons her or doesn't wanna her anymore'. So the question is: if the world doesn't wanna me, why I wanna the world? 

When human or life only has desire of survive or survive instinct when fighting against criminals, and bad evil things by pressure of darkness and even demon,  what's left?

{14-57,3-10,2022}

When I know Ukraine is attacked and invaded by Russia, I feel angry and believe Ukraine will make it and Russia deserves it. When I know Russia is losing and falling, perhaps wars would end soon, I feel more sad and hurt, in wars all life suffers and die for nothing, after wars there's another start, could it be little better than war itself?

{1-08,3-9,2022}

now I understand what Mr fox means , good man makes a mistake,it might be still good, but a bad man makes a mistake,it must be dead.

But Putin, if he doesn't have lovers who could be corrupted when he marries and stop drinking or have unnecessary fun deadly instead of working hard and focus on his stuffs, he would not start such a war in Ukriane for nothing and makes such a mistake, and most important thing, if he doesn't trust or make friends with villains who stick knifes on his back, he would be a good one, again.

Honestly, now who stay closed with Russia , Putin, perhaps is who wants to be the last straw to break the camel's back, perhaps who is the first villain to harm them.

Wake up , Putin, stop following any other and doing wrong things. be yourself, be free. Stay with the world, but stay away from villains who harm and use you. China is still that China, communists are still those communists, something never change.

You can stop yourself. 

For Russian whom are not in Siberian 'underground city' designed to survive a nuclear war like your family members, for whom are still on battlegrounds in Ukraine to be against the world for your mistake, for whom are struggling in pains between being dead and being alive, whatever Russian, Ukraine, or anybody else.

Or you just can't and that's why you push any other country to stop you or something by killing your people and punishing your governments and judging your country in this way , for yourself only? 

Nobody could take this responsibility alone.Even if you don't have choice but to be one of the biggest assholes in history, but all Russian still have, all Ukrainian still have,all the world still have.

Today I apologize to fox that I choose cats instead of choosing him, I say I'm sorry. He says everything will be all right, honey.

Nobody should die for what lying to them, harming them, cheating them, betraying them.nobody should fight against or stay away from  each other for being against each other only, or hurting even killing each other for culture, politics and economy, etc.Nobody should be hurt, harmed, die because of someone something who don't love care respect them.

It's not worthy. God, save them, help them, guide them, protect them. Matthew 8:17
[17]That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying. Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sickness.

{16-16,3-8,2022}

Churchill said' price of greatness is responsibility', not money or power, not relationships or whom I know or not, not the directions to step forward or back and escape.

{9-02,3-8,2022}

I suddenly feel frightened about this war, perhaps Ukraine doesn't only fight against Russia, but also the whole world including EU, America, French and all of them, especially China: nationalism, communism, socialism and Marxism.

Ukraine uses itself pointing towards to truth when Russia's sacrificing itself to cover it up.

And truth, perhaps now it's everywhere. Unless I change.

{00-30,3-8,2022}

Never feel a world is so closed to by the war.

Corrupted governments and their employees never do anything to benefit their people or citizens, or they would never corrupt.

Selfish of normal people benefit normal people themselves.but selfish of governments employees is corruption which has too much power, it could not only benefit them, but also kill who they serve - people and citizens at the same times.

Perhaps someday I would see the Chinese communists are someone who are hurt by truth of Chinese nation then they become evil.Perhaps someday I could see Chinese communists are meaning to sacrifice themselves for Chinese until they see something they never saw and can't forgive or understand before and they change them forever.Perhaps someday I see Chinese communists are so pure that they rescue some Chinese who might be ccommunists who might not be communists by taking them abroad out of China, even have their babies for them, like planting seeds in the world.

But even though Chinese Party of communism's  China and Chinese are both lies which they never exist, what's the matter? cause even when they betray the whole world I could not betray myself.

Someone who feed feral laugh at me who treating cats as my own kids because I don't have kids. It's a mistake. I treat cats as my kids, not because I treat them as my kids or I don't have my own kids, but because they treat me as their mom.