So much pressures and hurts and questions. Fox1 told me tonight his cancer is caused by Hpv virus which is infected by female when someone working in hospitals told him.

I checked that hpv virus can be infected by sex , by using same bathroom together, toilet, towel,washing underwear together and living together. And he says the only one who sex with him after his ex wife was me 4 years ago and he tasted my pussy once after I was raped 4~6 years ago,in this 4~6years I sex with 3 men who are communists soldiers and a foreign student from middle east in my city .I believe it,and I trust fox .so if he doesn't sex till now after sexing me, if his grandkid doesn't have hpv when he sneeze in his arms one month ago, if it's not his ex wife or his kids who lived with him for a while, if it's not his kids, he could infect his kids also.but he says his kids don't have phv virus.if his ex wife has,their kids should have had PHv also when being given birth. he was kidding me I want to kill him.actually after the cousin raped me he got angry at me that his dick grew some little pimples like white rice, he told me i was the only one who sex with him.and before he raped me I was a virgin , 5 years ago before being raped I kissed and did blow job for a classmate in a communism college where I lived for 4 years, with other 3 roommates who had bf when I was not and being bullied for it, some times they didn't come back to sleep, I didn't borrow stuffs from them, but they sometimes borrowed mine, after I kiss and did the blow job for the classmate who touched my pussy when kiss, when I thought he could marry me  and build family, around my pussy there was a pimple growing and mom took me to the hospital and the doctor said it's genital warts which was caused by phv . She felt shame for her thoughts which I am a whore sexing too many in the college where she sent me to and paid for it when she knows what's the fucking place it was, a brothel.but she blames me for her illusion, for any other gossips on me instead of caring me a little bit,instead of asking for truth. She only cares her illusion and gossips on me, or why she doesn't wanna to stop them. it's gone after 1 or 2 days without any medicines.if I'm the hpv carrier, I feel I'm the one who spread hpv in my life to everybody who I care. 

Satirical.that's why I'm single to death as a fucking bitch? If , the classmate think I'm a bitch, because I have phv, Cousin think I'm a bitch not a virgin ,because I have phv,parents, strangers, everyone think I have phv, because I have phv, they don't need me who don't know if I have phv or not, who don't know how I get phv if i have , but a victim to be a bitch.they don't need me to know the truth, cause they only need to think, to gossip, to image. Now I feel I'm ccp who always deny they spread virus in the world and release it.Chinese live in a country full of virus, not only coronavirus at once.I'm sorry,fox.if someday I get cancer by Hpv,now I know there's possibility for you if I still have it.but my mom had trich after she gave birth of me and blamed dad for it and suspected he had another women outside and they still dont't divorce ,why I have to feel guilty for it after I separate with fox? no, I can't judge myself. What a fuck.

So the bias of basing on my experience about coronavirus, the first one is that ccp was promised or tempted to make the virus as dirty job, if ccp crew it up, ccp will be taken the blames,if not,ccp will get what they want, the result is like what the whole world sees, it gets nothing but takes the blame from someone else . So ccp starts to torture ,hurt and kill Chinese again including itself for being honored again. The second one is that ccp focus on this deal very much but in the end it made a mistake which makes somebody who promised it something very unhappy,like that the virus hasn't had some effects at first,  then somebody cancel everything and quit until the virus starts to turn.The third one is that ccp wanted to do something kindness, but it doesn't do it by changing its minds, so punishment comes through coronavirus.most of Chinese don't wanna the truth of coronavirus , but only wanna themselves to live and survive  ,  it's another truth.

Focus on helping fox overcoming this cancer , what people especially fox says about it is just like winds to blow away my emotions.forget the past. Calm down and doing some research on Chinese medicines.no money to go to hospital, no more money to take care of cats, no sex to get married, no mood to face coronavirus which is being texted when spreading the whole country ,no luck to defeat ccpn,no one trusts me about my life, now I book hpv text online to see if I have hpv or not.even if it's not hpv  who will believe it ? hpv sounds like hiv , no chance to find love,marry and have babies anymore even if I don't have it or not? so putting on weight now  when stop excises and losing weight.nobody cares it's beautiful or not.yes, so ,I can just tell them to go fuck themselves when they want and call me a whore.hpv is a serious disease at all.sad for being loneliness. But if it's for phv, it's not a reason to be lonely, but a discrimination.it's not about love at all.