China has no good men like American who take vaccines for their country and kids as sacrifices,only escape,China should be rammed to he'll someday.perhaps very soon,perhaps I'm damned first . But,if I can't take care of them anymore , God pls damn me to hell more,help my grandma.

I made a scared dream and it wakes me up.In dreams A badass artist who only play cheats set up a talent artist and burned down a big library where he/she was in and made lots of people die in the fire and missing for trying getting the contract for a picture from  a big nice buyer who only wants the talent artist to draw the picture for him by a very high price and still pray for the talent artist who's still alive.

 doing good needs to pay something, doing bad,right,wrong things need to pay also.

Hi,I'm a Chinese broadcaster in China there .all ways you supply for broadcasters to get payments don't suit me to get them well as soon as I need,so I figur it out and ask helps from a friend in America to get my payments and send them to me by western union or moneygram immediately .so what's form W9 for me this time? A IQ tax?and I'm just a Chinese broadcaster in China who wants my payment which is held by you,do you answer yet why you hold my money unless I need to fill form W9 in China as a Chinese broadcaster?my friend doesn't make money on your website but I do,and I fill his information to help me getting my payment from you because I trust him! Will you show any respect on it,on me? Is money American only?do you truly care where broadcasters are for reality ?

I think it's a trap.I have helps from my friend who's in America 's as an American to get my payment on the website by broadcasting for 4 years,this year is the 5th year. From last month of 2020 the website starts to make me troubles and hold my money more than 3 times. 

For the first time they say the tokens I make is suspicious ,because it's too big,but I don't think so.they still hold it for over a week. Okay, they are jealous or surprised on me,I can understand.

For the second time they say the information of payout is not mine and they need my friend who is the proxy for accepting my parent in the American bank to register in my room on the website to release my money.I tell them that my American never broadcast in my room and I'm the only broadcaster in my room,I'm the payee,so my friend doesn't need to register when I have registered,my friend is not the payee and he even use his money for the fees to send my money by western union and money gram.and they can know it by checking my broadcasts on the website they have in my room ,but they still hold my money till my friend regist in my room,cause for them the name on payout information is the 'payee', but I don't think so.and they ignore the truth I tell when they even don't ask for receipts i have for my friend to send me money every time from America .hearts and eyes are all blind.now they are trying to help American government to tax a Chinese in China.

Now three days ago they email me again to send them form W-9 which is only for American citizen and aliens in America when they hold my money,they say again I can't get my money until I do it.I'm in China and I'm a Chinese who can only regist on the website by my passport, I have no SSN or anything to fill 9, this's insane.they are helping their American governments to corrupt by blackmailing me.

I can be charged 50% fee to cash on the website as a stupid Chinese pig for you,can be suffered being tools of making money as a whore who is raped by family in the most corrupted communism country in the world, can be survived and lived as a good for nothing which can't raise myself, my 60+ years old parents or cats without the website which does the all evil things to me, even can't fly to America and take care of my friend and his families and  stay together with my nail cat.I know Chinese have bad fame and play bad games in the world and they will pay for it ,I can understand you don't like me even suspect me.But it's none of my business.the only business of mine is that I can't help you to corrupt America which it's my favorite part of all my life.

if you think I'm a criminal on your website doing illegal things for American laws, show evidences, don't use 'political power' or 'website benefits' to depress or frame me who's broadcaster on your website and other innocent American in this way.I can show you all receipts of getting the money from my friend every time, and receipts for shopping cats food, stuffs ,cloths ,everything I shop in China by the money I make on the website if you want to find the truth, but for what? For you who think you are guardians of America when actually being communism asses who never care about me my families my cats my friends who i have responsibility on a little bit?

Before you prove that you are not a communism asses,you deserve to be treated as them.Happy birthday, mom.

I'm looking back to past of my life,all things I bought it's nothing but stuffs for healing rescuing taking care of cat and dog.It's hard to change the others in this world but yourself. And the only choice you can make is to change yourself into good or bad.

Suicide: try to have responsibility by own life, but most of time it's used and wrong.

Escape & hide: will being hunted and caught by more dangerous ones because of someone who are not dangerous but more stupid.

Etc..

Revenge : respect how do yourself feel by actions.

When having mom I could just cherish it,when parents teach me to fight against them who only want all my money by controlling what I say,stopping me having food and behaviors,when I notice that I use all my money for parents and cats parents just want me to abandon cats for getting all money of mine and still blame and curse me that I don't make as much as they like.they have retirement payments from Chinese Party of communism every month, but only want me to pay all bills and food to save all payments of communism.they have washed brains and communism models of life and behaviors, and I still try to feed them, doesn't it suck?

Even when this morning  I told dad that the numbers of dead in coronavirus in wuhan at least one hundred and fifty thousand old men who were over 80 years old are missing in the lists of governments for getting retirement payments in 2020 and even in China is a lie,is much more than Chinese communism official report , parents say just these much, let them die,should die,it's what they deserve to die for communism ,it's honor.just let the dead die.God,help me taking care of this demon.

'anti something or someone' sucks,cause when you 'anti' something and someone you need to be something or someone first, you would rather to be something or someone than to be against them in the end.

Just like some Chinese who can't corrupt Chinese Party of Communism anymore by what they had who having very poor and numb life,they often are someone who are ignored by Chinese Party of Communism most,actually,communists even don't wanna to bother them but stay away from them scarily and let them die alone.

Sometimes communists make shows to pretend they care them .but they even aren't who need help for real but their own members.Some Chinese who corrupt Chinese Party of Communism a lot  and corrupted communists  have very luxary life including immgranting abroad by money of corruptions , they are as much greed and badass as demons when many American even welcome them and do best to connect them deep.is it so called deep government for deep state itself?

So what's the reason for all above happen? Truth is like boiling oil to spill in crowd, the reason why Chinese and Chinese communists who love to have expensive material lives for escaping from others and themselves who have poor hard lives is that they can't get the truth that poor hard life is the end of living by communism.communism is Not 'the final form of capitalism ', but perhaps the last capitalism. Chinese communists escape from poor hard lives,cause it's the end they will have.they can't see what communism real is,who they real are,what they real do.like vampires.

Okay, so let me make it simple : 

snake tails on Fuxi and Nvwa means sins and Chinese who believed in it means Chinese are born with sins,just like what is in Bible. it's the same thing but different way to tell story in Bible, before Buddha and communism Chinese believed in same things as American do very very long ago.

Now Chinese know Chinese Party of communism corrupt and it's the only way they make Chinese Party of communism doing their jobs.Chinese Party of communism has a lot of corruptions in the Party and corruption is the only way to fix these corruptions for Chinese party of communism especially when world economic become worse and worse,especially when Chinese become poor and poor in pockets,it's a lie that communism takes what people or citizen have to service them.the truth is that without taking anything from the others' for themselves these kinds of big leeches will go to hell soon.

There's some common opinions about Chinese who live in China for a very llong time that they are brain washed .but actually when a person lives in a communism country which has existed for  over 90+ years,it's wrong to call it brain washed,but behavior patterns of communism and models of thinking in communism.they are more dangerous than brain washed.if brain washed Chinese still have consciousness,patterns and models of communism only have bodies without hearts and souls.

somebody says Chinese are not their enemies of America but Chinese Party of Communism, Chinese communists are also Chinese, which kind of Chinese are not  enemies for them? So Chinese are what for him? Zombies? Without Chinese who feed Chinese Party of communism so large so harmful? When you could stop Chinese communists to destroy the world what did you do? When communism is born to corrupt and America still needs to be equal to this bullshit ? Is demon equal to God ? Not at all.But perhaps for most parts of American it's still hope that it's just bad luck to China itself.my parents say perhaps Biden will help China,well, I tell them that if I was you I would rather to wish  that Trump can save America instead.

Crying and waking up from dreaming parents last night.cry for parents who raise up and teach me to fight against themselves who know there's something wrong in China by communism by obeying it,who know it's the only right and safe way for me to grow up.dreaming that parents are the ones who love me only and even die for me instead of communism governments which only request me to die for them.to fight against me is to love me and push me away from the edges of hells and even don't care if they will fall in it by doing it or not.my parents are not  like heros' parents who have power to destroy world and don't care if they will destroy their children or not ,neither.I'm not a hero anyway.and not a badass,neither.between hero and badass there's no more difference unless they notice what they have done to their parents .hero knows what it is before they do it when badass doesn't know what it is after they do it.I'm sorry ,mom, dad.

I think I try my best.but shouldn't it has been worse than this?shouldn't Chinese Party of communism has all responsibility if it is the most evil thing in the world? Shouldn't I want communism to disappear when don't wanna America to be hurt? Nothing has done yet,is it time to give everything up?

Trying making me heartless by harming me to treat her full of love, trying stopping me feeding rescuing homeless cats by curses and arguments even violence to buy expensive luxury food for her, trying punishing me by what she suffers in all her life which isn't caused by me but governments,communism even gods,trying tempting me treating the others unfair to cherish her only for what she has done to everybody,can anything be changed or change and Chinese get anything if Chinese Party of communism falls from power and disappear in China? No, everything can be even worse, but much more better than that Chinese torture themselves by too many mistakes and bullshit which it makes.

My parents only want to make me sick and weak ,so they they control me to do what they want me to do and get what they want but don't have, everyday, all the time,until I starve and die.

They only try to make me a slave, a trapped girl.but they fear to be laughed at for it.so they kick me to be free on the edge of abyss, to force me to climb from the bottom of their traps.

how hard to let a bird without fly when its human cut off its wings in the end, how hard to lead ways for a donkey which is covered by eyes for working? how hard for a kid who is heartless weakness by being shamed and blamed by his parents to raise and feed up parents when it's hurt and damaged by parents from the very beginning ?

They want to starve, to be mad, to die. They go to do it alone.but they don't wanna to be alone  need me to do it with them.

For them I'm not even a human being,property like body, like medicines ,like free wills and an independent person? No, not even than money in their pockets,perhaps just a pocket.

My mom become a bitch again this morning.and dad piss off again also.because I bought the medicine for healing poop for grandma who hurt her bones and hard to poo poo .and they thought I only want attention and praises for it and doesn't even care grandma a little bit. They are sorry basterds.

And the fired chickens i  booked online for us all in spring festival will be delivered today. I told them and they just want all of them and tell me stopping eating anything I buy for all of us when mom says I only think of eating.

I paid everything these days for spring festival by all the money I had,and almost 800cny,and they just say I should do that and should have done more than it, and should have paid everything, and should left them alone and live by myself and mom think it's all my fault.and dad think it's not mom's fault.love washed brains,blind eyes and make ears deaf.

This spring festival  ,I will not eat with them or stay with them but in my room alone.they suck,demons .wants me to starve for punishments and dad wants me to die for punishments ,and the punishments are just for their greed and expect which are not mine.I can't stay here anymore.who help me to leave with kids from here.am I too guilty or sinner to leave ?or it's just want demons' want,parents' plans for themselves.

I work so hard for all of us and for them it's only shit.after using and taking advantage of me they have happy lives and kick me back into corners again.making me raising feeding them when they need and making me disappearing and locking down for next time.

I don't like mom or dad from my childhood.mom took me to public bathroom and I felt she's raping me by eyes.and I don't like her to touch my body and she caught me and used brush hurt me badly.sometimes my body was even bleeding.and dad never cares about it but only blamed me when I escape from them.now I don't go to public bathroom anymore.I still don't like anybody to touch me anywhere, except fox.

It's sad that 80s Chinese who is me expect my life can be turned into good and changed if Chinese Party of communism crash down and disappear in the world.it is never about Chinese Party of communism, if it is about it and it's fault why not I fight against it till the end of my life from the very beginning ? or I just have no good patience to keep doing one thing continuously.it's still not about cpc,but myself 's.

Why I think all I write is all bullshit and even evil when I read after it finished ?? Yeah, just little evil bullshits, I feel little better,hope to have some sleep now.

So am I a huge wild dragon being trapped in the pools? No,perhaps I'm just a little Chinese bug on a big road,one step of a human being like rainbow is much even longer than the whole journey of my lifetime. 

Nobody but myself.have no ball to smuggle and have no plenty money or power to immigrant and move abroad from communism country ,now have 6 cats with me and stray cats to feed and check,can't leave without them anymore .

Find them forever good home,before I die or can't take care of them anymore, they leave here before I leave the world,before it's too late until they get their forever homes.

They are not communism cats. They are my cats.I'm not a communist,I never want to live in this or that way,in all my life.

Laws, morality, they are something which cover truth up.they cover up how much bones of dead being killed under human's feet,cover up how many life which are saved above human's heads.

human always live in nihility until someday they die when they either are called by light or fall into darkness.

laws and morality keep them living in world and feeling like a baby in moms' womb without being touched by the world which their moms are in,keep them feeling like living in a greenhouse which keep them away from storms and hurts,but which never exist.

between heaven and hell,illusion and reality,lies and truth, shows and facts,only a piece of thin film for me.

as a victim of criminal and demoralization I can see laws and morality are obeyed and followed only to protect somebody else which only need me to obey and follow by others' ignorance and isolation,heartless blame anger torture curses to me instead of who do bad things on me.it makes me feel shits happen on me for destiny, for punishments because of that I dont listen to them, trust them,obey or follow the 'truth',feel like listening to them,trust them obey and follow them is destiny,it's 'true' whatever how much hurts and suffers for me. most of human obey and follow them for getting taking benefits and power from somebody to protect themselves ,and they know it.

When they tell you laws and morality are for your own goodness they are always telling lies.obeying laws and following morality are the only ways to keep connects and relationship,even blood ties with each other, for somebody else,to get something from them for themselves.

Rarely human fight against all of these.and rare of them can make it.

To sacrifice each others for satisfying self,under the name of laws and morality, for telling self it's doing right thing and being a good man.it hasn't been on God 's way to go for a very long time.

A philosopher says life is like a rabbit, someone live in fur of this running rabbit (like fleas?), so some other 'fleas' hold fur of the rabbit to travel the world like passengers? But how does rabbit feel? Are fleas and rabbit equal? Who can pat it and makes it feel being loved and good,safe and happy, why it runs and what where it runs for ? who's demon and who are playing it like God?

I Have read tweets of some Chinese in America and other foreign countries for almost half a year when coronavirus appears in China and spread the world.after being washed brains in China they seem still to wash their own brains even when they are not in China anymore.I think they seem like internet refugees who can't belong to both their motherlands and where they live in trail life. some of them get crazy and enjoy chaos,some of them fall and focus on start wars,someone join in, someone cut off.and someone even fight against their past to overcome today for the future when the only way for me to win the past is to accept it first. but is it all real? Anyone who are taking 'advantage' of or being paid by Chinese Party of Communism to do it for disturb, even destroy America,even the world?

Why I think all I write is all bullshit and even evil when I read after it finished ?? Yeah, just little evil bullshits, I feel little better,hope to have some sleep now.

So am I a huge wild dragon being trapped in the pools? No,perhaps I'm just a little Chinese bug on a big road,one step of a human being like rainbow is much even longer than the whole journey of my lifetime.