[9:58, Oct 31]Laws are not justice, but rules of human world, morality is not law, but rules of each person themselves.

By laws human world would not fall so fast, but when human deprave laws would not help a little bit,only justice could.

Laws are only known for alive human, justice connects death and alive, and morality can be understood by ghosts and spirits, in another word, dead.

That's why Chinese Party of communism keeps body of Mao in Beijing? To keep a communists morality for China and Chinese which should have believed in Taoism, believe in deties which connects God?? Oh my goodness.why is so simple ? The answer I looked for is just in front of me.Jesus. death of Mao just is used to lie to Chinese that Mao s real god because Jesus who's not 'excsit' and 'real' doesn't even have a body.no body, no existence of God for communism brain washed, but just because no body of Jesus,he comes alive.

No, not that simple.

Morality is self business,none business of any other.communists set Mao's body whatever is real or fake in Beijing Tiananmen square. Morality is only for dead on Chinese culture, in Taoism. communists believes in,love and thank to Mao who killed millions Chinese for not killing themselves having a better life .and communists force and make Chinese keep this morality to understand the dead which's Mao for surviving themselves by setting Mao's body who's a psycho there,like that they are all reborn from death of him,Chinese communists wanna people to believe in Mao which is used to be against God ? Chinese communism starts from moral coercion from the very beginning? It's a cult? Do they wanna Mao to come alive like Jesus did? Or they believe  and wanna pretending that Mao will or he's a saint who can't have a rotten body but a status ? But if the body is real, the body is just a mummy and zombie.Why billions people need to raise up it? If the body is not real, where's the real one, do they make it a real mummy and zombie ?

It doesn't make any sense that human walk on the ways of God when always say science is not about religion, and think they believe nothing about God.

Why Chinese people and Chinese foreigners who have money focus on more money ? I don't understand. They act liking to show having much more money abroad than the past but still focus on how much money they can be saved in foreign countries for lives when they look like fight against Chinese communists who are considered corrupting Chinese' money by blaming how much bad Chinese are and deserve it? Is it tempt? Perhaps the only thing they wanna to protect it's money in their pockets.they are passengers for me also,cause money always is  taken away by heads when being made by heads.because sometimes heads never feel it's enough.but hearts can.perhaps they do everything for love in their hearts. Even Biden, I don't believe he means to destroy America like this when they love America for even just one second.one second love, is still love, right?
 

Cats adopt me, not me adopt cats.

[20:18,Oct 30]some times I suspect if coronavirus is judgement of God or punishment of demons, or both.cause by it Chinese died a lot also when nobody even likes to blame China and Chinese communists for the source and dead and result.the world changes forever.

Fox1 feels lots of better today.I'm happy for him.now he has everything making him happy and be admired by, except praying for him and his families and sending him best wishes, what could I do and say? He paid his half life for them. As a friend it's all I can do.

[22:57,Oct 30]I must have talent to keep everyone away from myself.but it's better not to use it too much.

[4:56,Oct 30]it's getting cold.all morning will be very cold below zero after one or two month .but the white streetcat is still waiting me around 5:00 or 5:30.I tried to delay the time to give him food in the morning and look for him after lunchtime when it's more warmer to feed him.but not working unless I stop feed him to stop him waiting there in cold morning before cold winter comes . I couldn't adopt him,his hair is dirty everyday and I know he's trying best to find warm place to settle and find food at nights .and he's getting thinner than in the summer.God, what could I do.

Chinese enjoy winning but don't like to lose.Chinese love to compare their worst things with someone's better things for the first round, then compare their better things with someone's worst things for the second round, in the end comparing their best things with someone's worst things, so they could win twice when someone else could only win once. but it's not the end, they have final trumps for avoiding failure but call it a tie to go into overtimes. it makes a competation become politics.it's sick to tie self or ego to anything any competation for covering up truth whatever it's ugly or beautiful.

From Chinese communists appear in China in 20 century, how many communists have been in America and other countries, how much dirty money has been laundried into America and other countries, how dare Chinese and communists cut in and burn America and the world to the ground so deep (states)?

unclean money attracts unluck, corrupted money attracts basterds, dark and evil things attract dark and evil demons.no exception. some Chinese and communists have been in American and the world for a very long time, perhaps from the very beginning because of the good right things they do they could enjoy,and  they suffer pains and confuse and everything in their lives abroad because of the bad wrong things they do also, why they can enjoy alone when not suffer lonely? When they are poor communists they share pains together for becoming rich as Chinese communists and when they get rich they enjoy happiness alone as American  capitalists for being communists again in the future?

When you walk in peace, you see love care and respect, when you walk in wars, you see wounds blood and tears.reading what they post online are what they have now, can't believe they are already on liberty land they expect but still have hells in their minds.it looks like what they corrupt to be abroad doesn't bring them enough happiness, but punishments. they will and always deserve it.because when you be communist ,you always be it and it's your crime until you pay for it.

I read that in Wuhan, China someone killed all families of some communists who charged his villiege. there's an opinion about that the baby should hasn't been killed,the kid was innocent. but there's another opinion about that if it grew up the hate and revenage would last on it in the future, it would be a tragic life , so it's better to end everything by death once.I think it's cruel progress and right result. bad things of someone must be paid by someone themselves .if their dad didn't corrupt too much and robbed properties of the criminal's ,would the kids be given birth? from their birthdays their lives were set in this way. if their dad didn't corrupt and do so many bad things, there would be other kids being born in their home which would never have been killed for justic like this .perhaps its dad would not corrupt if it wasn't born,perhaps it would not be killed if it was born. everything has its own way to go ,and the way means to be right even when it's not a good thing. sometimes right things never be good.like this case.so good things aren't always right?

[15:55,Otc29]Is ego more important than heart and soul? to have a big ego so much important for being a Chinese? Is it right to call someone who don't have big ego shameless or to say 'shame on you' when I do everything for love, cats, God or even something else instead of myself and communism and demons, I don't think they are right. and it's Not the time to give up yet.

[5:19am Oct 29]Do something I could instead of being racist. Even though Chinese only bully cheat kill Chinese, it's not racist, but for other nations, it is.

I can't marry or have kids now, it's all about my government,China and Chinese Party of communism as being sacrificed.

Coronavirus comes from wuhan,China, okay, nobody wanna to admit it. So all tragic comes from communism also.it sucks and I'm fucked up.anybody agree with that?

More I do to keep myself safe and stay away from troubles of Chinese and communists , more blames curse depress on me from them . But when I'm in troubles because of helping them and them, none of them come to me but towards communists who I always be against it because of how I look like, what I wear, dress and no car to drive, no house to live . And i can't blame curse depress anyone for it, can't be heard by anyone.because I just can't give up.

Like what Chinese abroad post online about what happen on Chinese in China,whatever how much right they talk or think or believe,what I want to say about it? only these rotten basterds wanna to be right and nothing changes them.

Spay a girl

[20:00,Oct 28] if money is above and can connect God and heaven, they must be demons and hell.

Now I understand why there are someone who are Chinese or Chinese foreigners abroad dig reality as dark as possible for Chinese suffering in China like getting  angry at ccp for it, like pitying Chinese by consciousness,even helping Chinese when they call Chinese pigs,slaves and Chinese leek even guilty badass , like that they are victims of China Chinese and Chinese Party of communism.because parts of them are and were darkness, know darkness, need someone who are not darkness to join in them, to cover them up for continuing darkness and avoid someone to betray them for the lights.

Perhaps America isn't as good as what I watched in movies, perhaps it becomes heaven of corruptions, long time ago, from the very beginning,because of [1:39am,Oct 29]being assimilated instead of being diversified.

Perhaps the reason why nobody points out officially that the virus is released by wuhan, China, is that it's a trap to admit that these Chinese communists trying destroying America are victims of China also who shouldn't been blamed for being communists, for what they have done.the virus is another way to hide communists in the world, to turn everyone into communists, whatever they are or not,to make America Nazi which free attacks all Chinese in the world for being toys of Chinese communists.

God is a sun and shield,perhaps it's why sun and shield are more than themselves when they just be themselves without doing anything else.

Perhaps it's not only about America which is still America,but also China which is still China.the only and best way to defend and attack is being self.

[Otc 28,8:00]I think my life is repeated and I just expect it could be little better again and again and again.but still hope that it's different someday.I need to keep trying new things.

daily calendar

I don't think I have done anything enough to make me leave here and threat my life against ccp yet.for me to be American doesn't mean where I am,have green cards or not, immigrant or not, stand by whom or not, but what I do and believe , who I am.

I don't like to hurt someone who think they know and understand me like a Chinese when they suffer a lot  because of Chinese , if to call me American or to make me American could make them feel little better I still can't be American.

Am I crazy or not?

If I didn't use money of fox1 or get payment from fox2 , I might have been already in America now, without cats I adopt and take care.perhaps I just can't stop blame myself about using money of theirs and even them , so I wanna to do good and right things by money for reducing guilty I feel.but do they use me who feel guilty to do good or do they know my guilty for satisfying themselves?

So if I was in America now what I could do, what life I would have, what I should love.people always say communists screw up America, but if it's in an opposite way, America has already been screwed up until people notice it by communism,what do they want to blame,what do they wanna to hide , why they wanna to protect themselves only instead of America?

Why I feel guilty, if I don't think I'm doing right things or I could fix everything into right, isn't it unworthy at all? My guilty comes from what I can't do and none business of what I do.and what I do only refers to my duty or responsibilityt, it is the only point.

Stray Cats which have sprayed believe me whom lock them in the rooms for rests in several days is adopter of theirs and doing best to put their smells on me and take my smell on them.how about people who lock down at home and think their governments are harmless and treat them well always after being sprayed by politics? What do they lose in these 2 years? What's happening to this world? Things happen when everyone pretends nothing to be wrong.

Deep state, or just a passenger who travels for what he lives on.

Everyone connects with their counties, everyone locks down by their governments once and more.any meaning to argue against each other for which country is right,which country is good? Like 2 tigers in different zoos talking about which zoo is perfect to settle or worst to live  ? To be tigers when they are ? Do you feel proud if someday A country and C country have wars because of yourselves ? If the whole earth is a zoo, the virus is just the cage of it which is built for keeping different animals in different zones.arguments and blames and wars are just making more troubles to cover up troubles which they can't fix.

What do I lose? What's making me guilty? For what I lose? But something I could never get back again.

Someday this planet might disappear, or abandoned by human being.what could someone do something for that day comes instead of caring themselves and thinking they are the only important ones to focus?

[18:52pm,Oct 25]Reading other's books,watching other's movies,sing other's songs,etc,after being moved,shocked ,scared,still must take my own way to go.only with teams friends companies,I don't feel lonely sometime .

Communism isn't morality, morality isn't law. 

Laws are made for justice.morality couldn't bring power or benefits ,but laws have.sometimes morality could also being justice in the end as laws do.because morality is extreme way towards laws which are the final end of morality.morality is low,laws are high.because morality is law of the only one person, laws are morality of everybody.the only one person can't overcome laws when he's one of everybody, but everybody's morality eat up each one's law.

So when communists especially Chinese communists use their morality to effect,turn and change even destroy everybody's morality into theirs for communism, they want power and benefits of laws which are not for everybody anymore, but only for themselves .then laws are not laws anymore,but only communism which rules everybody by morality of communists .then the world changes, America is taken down.

Lots of ways to connect communism morality, Chinese, communists,corruptions, and even just something about China a little bit.

So what's morality? Except that morality is life itself ,is the way of life to survive and live on,is the way to treat life and what life believes in and what life does and is for, I don't have any idea about it,but all about God for me.

[19:03pm,Oct 23]for me most difficult thing is to forgive myself,most terrible thing is nightmares come true,most unwanted thing is what I think is real.it's why i think into more and more darker ways, because I don't believe it will come true.

[4:50am, Oct 23] don't cry for what you lose, everything you lose come back in another way; don't laugh for what you have,everything you have go away in another way.if it's not destined what is it when it's true?if it's not bias what is it when denying it?

Smile when you get and lose,cause life is itselfy,you are yourselves.

Telling the truth, after I quit communism schools, communism colleges,communism  military, give up working for communists and stop connect everything including communism media culture and believers, breath and live against communism and communists,my life starts to change and turn into good and right when I connect the world, meet someone who are good and right, believe in God.it's not illegal, moral or official by laws rules and politics of Chinese Party of communism.but it's worthy.

Communism and communists are only doing their best time after time making more and more people either repeating their tr[5:00am]agic and tempting them making mistakes and falling again and again for benefiting themselves by using hurting killing each other until one left to have everything they corrupt cheat and catch, or suicide. then other communists take everything of theirs.nothing left.[5:05am]

[1:36,Otc]birthday morning.why what all I love and care and respect often leave me,get sick, and die ?  it's like fire for gold.fire makes gold shapeful, useful and helpful ,too little fire doesn't work, too much fire break it, damage it,melt it.do I think love care respect from any other are bad things for me,do I want money power men too much too greed too bad from who love care respect me?do I deserve nothing but leave them alone,get sick and die lonely? Like wild fire on the mountains, evil virus losing controls,dry air without rainbows?

[2:16]when I think about it it starts to rain for minutes.

[2:49]water kicks ass of fire which makes everything to be dust on the ground for making gold .sometimes I need to make troubles for myself to hold me back.fire needs water for gold when fire loves gold. too much fire needs water to hurt itself for protecting gold from hurting it.

[3:03]well, it's not actually what I wanted to talk about this time ,is it?

[307]no, I don't.I just wanna to be free.and I know I'm lied and be cheated and taken advantages but don't know how to stop it.like being covered eyes and ears.

[709]but eyes ears are just helping me to overcome fear in the heart, when my heart don't fear , aren't they just another things to be used by demons or burdensome ? To protect them, no need to use them,see and listen to your heart.

[815]last night i dreamed that someone fired fireworks and when I heard it I opened my window, I saw black fireworks in the air, and then a big bat flying to me,I stepped back and tried to close the window  then I wake up.yesterday it's a so blue amazing water and sky's door.still missing it.

Meaning of life is life itself.Suicide is the most extremely way to say no sometimes, is the only way to find an answer sometimes, is the worst way to refuse God sometimes.God doesn't suicide.He died for something else.

[7:42,Oct 21]So far so close. I mean not to be someone who turn everything wrong into right or make all Chinese and China change into good ones.cause when I get so closed to America and its citizens, things become more heavier and untold than watching its movies.

Do any Chinese who go abroad and immigrant America for Chinese Party of communism' brain-washed and works to do thanks Chinese Party of communism for their food,houses, clothes, cars, money ,faces,hairs,lives, educations of kids ,love of husbands ,families and friendships of neighbourhoods,etc,or even just a greed green card or SSN code numbers? Or they thank God for it and do anything to salvate themselves ?

When corruption of 2020 American President election happens and virus keeps killing life in the world, some Chinese and Chinese foreigners post online and say American is weak and America is going to fall apart.Do they? 

No,more stronger than facts.they don't know American in fact when they try their best to replace them.as an American he's like a faithful Christian believing in God, like what Trump does,like what God and Jesus does,use their body and blood saving and feeding life and reborn.they are using their own life to save the world, even animals, grass, maggots which suck their blood, take their lives, eat their bodies. it is a war, and they win it, but pay so much.and they never call it kindness,but God.

Not everybody turns into good this time, but I like to be one of someone who do best turning to be good when some other one turn into bad always. They fall and they would never have any second chance .life is not a movie, that's why life is life, movie is just movie itself. God bless America,God bless this land which's full of love respect and cares from tears pains and bloods.

In Buddha there's reincarnation.but with God there's not.So i think so called China and new China in mouth of communists are lies.so called Chinese are not whom communists want them to think they are, but ghosts and survivors ,even defeated armies on ruins in Mao's poisons and communism damages as long as they can be.and everyone accept God, turns to God,stands by God, is always blessed.

[Oct 19]I know something from mom that one of our neighbourhoods have been in America for 20 years ago,the husband has the rooms of Chinese militaries for them still which they rend to others for making money when his wife has a restaurant in America with his son who has already married there.how many Chinese and American have background of Chinese Party of communism in America, abroad now?

If the best way to stay away from communism is to go abroad, what the fuck am I doing here?

Many materials can be used to corrupt by communists, food(~death, food comes from bodies of life), sex(~falls, sex comes from eating fruits in garden of eden),money(~corruptions, money comes deals which aren't fair but needs), why are only these things ? Why not God, Jesus, spirits ? ommunists get lazy? Crazy? They attract communists, Chinese communists? Like evil minds attract demons to possess on life being created by God?

Only eyes which see sun knows how much blue the beautiful sky is.only ears which hears demons understand how much dark the evil hell is.

If the truth is not only about how many communists go abroad,but also about how much the world is falling and attracts communists to go abroad? Like flies going towards and living by shits? 

[Oct 20]Yeah, it's great they are still alive and could live on freely as themselves.to be human who could be jealous of a fly's life which set its eggs on the wounds of themselves?

Someone loving you always love you,someone hating you always hate you,someone using you always use you.cause people never change.

It's not hurt when I leave someone who hate me by the truth, but hurt when I tell someone who I like by it again to protect myself.

[10:17 , Otc 18]Only what God creates could understand each other well. It's why God and angels can't understand or be confused by demons but fight against them and send them back into hell. 

Only God-created understand each other.it's why man-made understand each other. roberts which is man-made don't understand human kind like animals, bugs even plants do, don't understand any life which is created by God, plants ,bugs,animals, air, water,fire,metal, planets, even ghosts and aliens.

Only God-created connects with God.Demons are not gods,angels and not created by God.they can't connect with God.

First communism is man-made.

As a reality, after a week when I think of arguments with the ugly communism man for the homeless dog which he feed by others' food being donated and what makes him curse me to spay myself,I have answers for myself. He wants my money in my pocket under the name of the dogs and to know me and where it comes from for himself, as informations to sell. and the good scared homeless dog which was very kind polite sweet now becomes villainous. I often gave her some food when she was around me friendly quietly in the early mornings, so we would not wake up whom fall alseep around and made troubles.now she can't stop barking for food until I give her or stay away from her.I must leave her alone.

Marxism says materials determine consciousness in natural capitalism .this deadly theory now comes back again by using Chinese humanity to produce demons again, on communists. cause it doesn't merely keep them being bad after Qing dynasty, but rather making them worse - Materials don't only determine consciousness of human being anymore in hands of Chinese and communists, some materials but also be used by them for changing, determining, turning consciousness of anyone and life into communism, like what Wuhan vrius is used to do. Chinese often say dogs are like their owners, like someone who they get closed most. so even dogs which become communism dogs for food, how about human kind?

When communists don't live well,nobody and nothing can live well; when communists corrupt, nobody can't corrupt together with them;when someone spay their dogs, they spay someone back. teeth for teeth, eye for eye, only when I'm not a fucking communist.that's why I think it's right that the gift of God is God himself, and Jesus Christ , even more.

I notice that my mom's behaviours make her illness. first she buys bad food which smells bad by little money, then cook them with too much salts to cover the smell up , and she thought when she covered the salty tastes with much more other heavy smell condiments the salts would be gone. then she has diabetes,gallstones and insomnia.

to be famous is to benefit self which benefits many other ones.

what&who you are is what &who you trust and believe. 

Don't give up, keep trying.I indeed like the progresses to be with each other together , instead of taking care of the results alone. so if the end for me is to die earlier than I thought, I have to?

[9:48,Oct 13,2021]Communism needs someone who has very good morality, but how can someon who have very good morality be communism? Unless they don't.communism is Not morality.

Someday when people look inside of histories I think they could only see communism is the fatal shortcut in history for China to take.communism corrupts someone who have morality from inside.someone who don't have any morality honestly can't be corrupted at all,unless they start to have morality.communism Is corruption itself.

[19:00]Why?

I take care of homeless cats here in my city of China. I met someone who have gardens first bully them,beat them , then feed them garbage and curse them ,then accept donation of cats food,l for dogs, then ask for money by donation to spay cats but for dogs ,from someone who get donations by some other homeless cats and dogs.they all do it under the name of Chinese Party of communism military, even when they don't.

Why?

Like that they clean ass for ccp as honor of being parts of it, or throw all shits on ccp's head if something goes wrong.they don't use own money by works as I do, but donations for feeding cats ,they use ccp's name to feed cats when I do it by my own name.I don't do it for ccp which causes it, I don't work for communism, don't fix it,don't use ccp , it's not good for animals which need helps.that's why I stand again all of them who feed cats also and being used by them when I don't connect any of them for anything to avoid being used but still being used by my behaviors to make trusts from people for themselves , or suspect for me only. Being kind and taking care of homeless animals and become another way to be corrupted by communism, like that flood in ShanXi, Oct 3 ,Chinese governments ask all Chinese to donate it, 1 CNY 2 CNY together , they could only be 10 million, which isn't plenty enough, but a movie which is called the battle at lake ChangJin being full of betrays and lies and traps for Chinese Party of communism makes 24 billion CNY between Oct 1 to Oct 7, all money is put in communists' pockets without leaving a penny to victims in flood who are dying. it's sick.

[23:53,Oct 14]Why?

It should be thought about the starts of Chinese Communism which were from killing riches to share grounds with poor by communists in China. Killing is crime, they make it rules of communism itself , grounds are not communists', except crime and betray and lies they make it political aims and Mao 'god and saint' by it. But in fact Helping someone by things of someone else instead of own things is Not morality, Not best morality, but immorality. This behaviour is Not only immorality, but also stopping morality to become, like taking eggs by killing chickens . by this reality Communism hasn't only effected China and the world in history for one hundred years if it doesn't disappear as soon as possible , but also hundreds years, even thousands years.it's not a way out, but to die terribly from the very beginning.communism can't manage a country,but poison and destroy it by  benefiting communists themselves.

My parents' marriage is a mistake and failure, not only because there's no love between them at first, but also because it's a political communism marriage to make mom a bad communist by dad side's talent and mom side's darkness.from the day when I was 8 years old I said no to refuse dad who told me I decided our future by agreeing divorce of parents for avoiding being laughed at by having no mom, my future is decided.I decided rape which I deserve in my life, I decided suffer and abort in rape, i decide there would be a cousin and so many cousins on mother side looking at me like wolves looking at a little sheep. I deserve them all when communism keeps corrupting the world except China, I pay for them.now I see why all families don't like me even hate me  and everyone keeps distance from me,not only because of me but also because of themselves .cause I should have stopped them happen, cause I should have done something when I didn't,cause I don't like mom, communists, everything about us,and even when I'm torture and suffered and harmed I still want and still pray for the worst things to happen on someone who deserve them most.

[3:9,Oct 12] Don't try to keep anyone who you think they are the best and good when the reason they are best and good is not because of you.

See what you do to them completely.See all you can do.

If I I know my love is hurting him ,I will never love him.if I know love hurts him ,I still love him.I just don't know he's passing by in my life, I'm the one who tried to make him stay, not him.let fox go, as your birthday gift.

[11:55,Oct 12] No.

[15:24,Oct 12] It's not his time. God, don't let him go.

[18:01,Oct 11]God bless fox letting cancer cells all go, let cancer cells let him go.

I think fox will not come back China for me and cats again. He has a third grand daughter who he loves most now, and protect her from me.I don't wanna to hurt her or anybody,neither,but if I mean to hurt anybody, I will leave first.I'm sad and have tears in my eyes.if it's God's wills, I accept it.and I respect his choices.because I know he loves his families more than everything anybody else in this word except God.his dad was in China before, I know he must came here once in his life. I tried to refuse him to come, but never made it until he came here for the first time.everyone like him and he makes me proud, his dad must be proud of him for being an American.

I'm happy for him and pray them having a good future which I hope they have from the very beginning cause they deserve it. I never have a friend for so long a time like he does.he's the first one I had or have for 5 years, I do my best to hold him back, but in the end more tightly I holed  ,more better to let him go.for himself.

Never their faults.I know nobody could stays with me for every.but every time when they leave and disappear, I still hurt more and more.

Never stay with me long, so never hurt me by it.being alone and lonely isn't another kind of hurts more than that? Even me do not like my life to be alone and lonely, who will like to be with me for it?

Dreamed of this song last night.I only cared my feelings of separate, how do I know others don't feel more hurts than I do.I must be strong enough.

[8:56,Oct 10]watched some tv series about a case, 11 families died together one night by Chinese subtitles . Policemen said it's an a accident , because victims believed their dead father came back and possessed on their big brother who controlled them everything to make their lives better and richer continually and after they died for a much more better life their father would save them back from being dead. There were someone asked: thus case effected me a lot, there's only a line between faith and illusion , what's the end of faith and what's the beginning of illusion? Another man said: After that he doesn't believe anything but becomes an atheist, cause if there's God , where is he when it happened? 

I think faith sometimes goes with illusions like that reality goes with imagination.but it's very clear how to distinguish them from each other.You can feel their existences, God, love , even demons and hate. But, illusion and imagination can't be felt by hearts. Illusions and imagination are desire and expect for faith and reality, you think they are all about yourselves when they never be but come from something else.

In this cas3 someone did something wrong and brought in demons for families, there's God indeed cutting in when it happened , it's why Death came to end everything else.

[18:00,Oct 8,2021] will Chinese communists attack Taiwan someday? If they need to make America and other countries scared and depress Chinese in China to keep on being loyal to them , they will.if it happens,if you don't work for Chinese Party of communism but for this country , just hope communists lose, or Chinese and this world will suffer more than today .wars need money and materials, it's another way for communists and their soldiers to corrupt.  lots of Chinese will die those days for them only.

I don't wanna to make friends or foes with my dad,or anybody , but it's a bad time, time makes us come together.I told him be careful of what you believe, someday more you believe , faster you become crazy and get mad for truth.and the worse ending is killing yourself.don't be loyal to communists, keep a back-up way for yourself.

He smiled and said there's no possible to see the progress for communists and communism Party crashing down for both of us.yes , I say I know it's a long time , and I'm also in this big history you and me are just parts of the process, I hope we are the ends of it.Nobody can stop history keeping moving on but being crushed completely.

Someday if I could go abroad or immigrant I want to be a detective , only find truth and corrupted employees of governments.I don't work for governments, but God.if I couldn't, I want and must do the same things.

Morality and communism.communists use morality to rob people especially good ones and let morality take care of themselves. Killing someone by hands of others.some Chinese are not Chinese anymore today.

[9:00]I talked with someone online, and I think it's worthy to write down them what I said.so I record them here.he helped me thinking in this way. Thank him.

I watched my parents getting old everyday.indeed feel losing them and can't image when they are fine someday how do I connect them by calls.like a horrible movie.when someone who live with me from my birthday suddenly disappear in front of me,would I suffer it and not get mad or feel being defeated by my own life , would I strong enough to live on alone?

Perhaps love means when life is lonely it's not alone when you are with someone who love you and you love .when there's lov3,never alone.

Love is from heart, not head.even brain damages and forgets, heart works well, love can't die until life ends.

Is love beautiful or cruel, is love beautiful because it's cruel, or love makes life beautiful, when no lov3, life is cruel?

Perhaps love is part of life, even death can't stop it when life's gone.that's why love exists.or how does it exists.that's why love's from God.

Someday my parents will leave me , it's made me scared for a long time.now I'm still disturbed ed by this feeling.Perhaps I'm still not growing up when I should have yet.that's why parents still worry about me and getting older mode quickly ,perhaps not.

Then he said something light me up and make me feel sad about it and wanna to cry, he says God is love.

[9:37]prepared and cooked some food for cats tomorrow.chicken livers, chests and soup, with some nutrition powders.

[Oct 6,16:58]it's an endless loop in China to help and rescue homeless pets and doing charity.cause when someone feed and adopt hundreds dogs and cats with their own money and retired payments in their own pockets and could only pay cheapest food and pick up overleft in garbages and ask for helps , communists are feeding their pets being bought from stores by cruel breeds and many eliminated dogs cats being abandoned and eaten and killed for it, making big money by fees to allow people to have pets under the name of morality , to sell expensive allowances to sellers of little animals, to making money on little animals even illegally by smuggle, so called adoption and healings.why everything which starts beautifully maturely always has an ugly corrupted end especially in China , by Chinese, about communists ? If it's not the end yet,only me feel in this way? Great, either I'm only always trouble of myself, or it's just the truth which I can never respect a little bit .

Communists don't have love or normal things but communism itself, can't love normally, and destroy love which isn't for communism as their ambitions. Because they build hell for themselves.they build hell,make hell,develop hell, for someday to rule hell. So why they don't believe care love respect trust animals, Chinese , God, but stop any other to do them at the same time? Using any other to keep cogitation by brains washed for only benefiting themselves.communism is virus, more than coronavirus do.communists are someone who turn into monsters because of it.sometimes they can hide, but they can't escape always. It cost 100 years building up communism, perhaps so people needs another 100 years to fight against it.even if it needs 100 more years to fight against it, it's still worthy doing it for the others to take care of the rest 100 years later.

[18:05,Oct 5]few days ago in the earlier  morning when I sent food for cats I saw wild gooses were flying with sounds by above my head from west to eat, after it hails fell down with big winds in gee days.God bless them being okay.it's getting cold suddenly in the north.why not flying to South? And right now something were flying by again out of windows, sounded like little birds ,or bats.

Don't know what's happening now, when disasters of nature come,animals always know them first.

The most easiest effortless contemptible shortcuts for someone are the most dangerous evil stupid things for someone else.

Take cheap, fall in trap.Have delusions, lose money.Penny wise, pound foolish.

Time to give up these Chinese's dullness and absent-mindedness.In the end only me care them like caring these little animals for themselves who think themselves are little animals.

America has variety and multiple cultures.  Communism China, has variety and multiple worlds ? Human world, animal world, ghost world, angle worlds, saint and spirit world, even demon world,which are called communism world ? Biden, his dead son, flags in front of white house, communists are someone dealing with other worlds ? Or only Mao Zedong's world? Why these Chinese feel shame and angry when I love care respect life of animals by harming hurting and cursing themselves? What connects these worlds for Chinese? Materials? If Mao is in hell now, Chinese believer that hell has 18 levels, is China the hell which communists who believe in Mao only has built for 18 levels?

Snake woman accepts a woman's money to adopt more dogs and cats for dogs and cats in her garden and plan to kill them if she dies before they die , the crazy man accepts the same woman's pet food to feed the dog which gave birth 6 puppies this year and refuse to spay her but for more puppies .and the same woman's money and pet food for snake woman and crazy man is from donation online for other Chinese who take care of homeless little animals.she connects me to promise giving me food to feed cats ,I refuse, I want to help cats by my own hands, now she said it's meant to be cursed and blamed and bullied to help homeless little animals like 'us' in this way and she says she has a vocation in another province and wants me to feed all cats dogs around snake woman and crazy man.What does she want? Money being made by people who feed homeless little animals, more homeless animals with their babies they have, more money she could get by donations for them by hell views, like what ccp does by billions of Chinese , money in my pocket to feed more dogs and cats ,money by using and selling homeless animals from any other who love care help them? wtf,I just wanna to make my shows and make some money to live and take care of some little animals as I could and make them friends . I don't wanna to connect any of them about anything anytime anywhere in China. The only same thing is that all of them have background of ccp.

My money doesn't come from China,it's clean for me by my own works whatever I do. It's not for communists ,neither .But my parents are communists, I still buy food to take care of them. I think I want to take care of them, it's my own fault, not money's. But my money is not on their lists.

It's getting cold , where do they go? God helps the mom dog with her kids , God helps all of these little life, thank you.

Yesterday I saw the man who rent room around the shelter of the stray dog with her puppies feeding them food.I thought he's their owner.So I stepped towards him and asked him if I could spay the mom dog or not for his allowance.

Then he started to curse me and blame me, he said homeless animals have rights to be homeless,die sadly lonely and suffer, have rights to give birth as many as they want when ccp governments don't make any laws to do anything on it, when governments catch and kill them nobody has rights to stop it or protect animals whatever they are pets or homeless ,because they are just fucking beasts which much more better than you are.he said appearance of all stray and homeless cats and dogs is because of me to feed and take care of them,said you are woman also how about spaying you instead of him, said I'm animal, female dog instead of being woman and human being to spay them because no right to spay them because the puppies which are adopted still drink milk of mom because dogs love to give birth and he knows it,said why not spay yourself but spay his dog because I'm not rather than a dog and cat ,said he loves her to give birth because he has money as much as possible to feed them, to feed hundred,thousands, millions dogs and he loves to let her give birth, and asked me do you have kids or marry, I said no and it's none of your business, he said you are twisted and freak in your minds because you can't give birth so you don't wanna the dog to do it, and said you should go to the hospital of madness to live and you should spend money on your parents instead of homeless animals,there're many old Chinese now why you don't take care of them, and said I had a stupid fool face because you can't fight against and be more powerful than Chinese governments than ccp which don't make laws to protect these things even harm them so it's right to let them give birth to let them die to  kill them instead of love care adopt them, he stoped me to spay the dog but allows governments to clean them for so called 'making cities look better',and meant cats dogs are always bitches and sons of bitches because they are born to eat shit, and he said he never trust me who show the photos of adopted puppies with adopters to live as families because he doesn't believe it and me who pretend to care these things for being somebody to be famous and sell these little life for money to benefit myself. I said no you are wrong and hang on their talked with him for one hour to try to make him changing his minds, everybody around there heard the arguments and chaos when he almost to beat me nobody got closed to stop it including his mom and woman who looks like have untold relationship said stopping talking to her she's fucked, ignore her as ignoring dogs and cats,ignore her fucking shows.

Then I talked with his mom who looks like 70 years old and someone live nearby, they said with smile they rent rooms here it's not his dog,he feed them with food which others adopt him to eat dogs especially puppies,he has no job and he told them by his own mouth. 

I told him he's all wrong and can't dream others to be wrong to make him right, whatever human or animals or bugs or plants,etc , and I said I want to talk with him as human being if you calm down and I respect that you feed them and make a shelter for them, it's right. But animals don't know what's called bitch or son of bitch,they don't know good or bad,right or wrong,they don't know ideology or politics they can't stop pregnant unless human spay them because they need help and you know. And I have responsibility to help him because I feed her sometimes also.they are not tools and machines to give birth and being pregnancy and having babies frequently could hurt them and reduce their lifetime, they are life and life is equal, they have rights to have better life,to be loved and trusted because they are alive and love and trust you.I care animals for myself instead of governments especially ccp, I want to protect them when they are hurt by anybody including governments for themselves . I never hurt them ,sell them and use them for myself. I told him it's none of his business of my business or my parents, I'm not freak, twisted minds or mad bitch, when it's not his dog or puppies, I treat all his words as shit.I don't understand when they can be alive , live better and even have families to love and be loved why  in these people's eyes are expected to be suffered , to be tortued, to be killed, to be eaten and to die.but I know it's just one of Chinese here who have such dark secrets by psychopathic tendencies, only can be swollen by frankness instead of lights, trying hardest to hide in the darkness by turning into monsters for purposes because they are cowards to fear lights.

God bless all life which are tortured,suffered and depressed, used, bullied and hurt.God helps me to take your ways for them.help people and who care them to adopt and spay them and live on well as long as they could. Thank you. Amen.

I'm sad for animals here about their lives in China, also don't understand how much communism dark can twist lives, make assholes here so completely, I never think it's cats dogs' fault making Chinese people become like this, never think it's not right to help them to survive and live on well, and never think who help little homeless injured young animals are deserved to be treated in bad ways like these,so I'm not angry at what are talked about or done by the others .and I never think it's right to cover mistakes up by other mistakes. I never think it's right to stop others by risking own dignity honor and even life whatever human or animals to live better than myself, or right to stop others who are better than myself to do the best for helping life doing good and right things by using bad wrong evil things,right to kill life when they could make it and live better,so I don't step back. I never think I can use ccp or communists to fix anything depressing anything or destroying anything for anything anybody because I think they are something to be fixed to be depressed and to be destroyed ,too.What kinds of pains and how much they hurt make these Chinese people change into such cruel ruthless extremely evil ass. There are many light ways to go, why choose or pick up or use the darkness badness demon this shit to protect yourselves? Is it a fucking life or right way to live by fucking escaping for being a fucking piece of shit in a fucking communism time which is making me fucking boring all the time!? God never tells me like that.

If I become psychopathic tendencies and Machiavellianism, sadism, narcissismband being duplicitous and self-serving, cold-hearted and lacking in empathy, vain and selfish, and more likely to derive pleasure from other people's pain, nobody is? No, if I become darkness, nobody cares. There's still something to learn, to practice.I need to prepare and take them as challenges .

Sins could never be offset for me, I can do good and right things, but bad and wrong things which I have done are still there.because it's not a business, I don't think anybody could say they can save a person by killing another.

I hang on for years by fighting for someone to love, to be with, to marry instead of someone who my parents, friends and families want me to love, be with and marry.I think only this could set me free.

Using money to fix problems is sin being chased , using head to fix problem is smart being trusted,  using heart to fix problem is saint being blessed.

The puppies I saw on the way to check cats were six.Someone connect me and adopt two of them yesterday.now they make new friends there.

God.Thank you helping me trying my best.time to step back for a while.