{12-37,2-1,2022}

Chinese are not like nets , can't touch one part of it to shake the whole group, it's a long straight snake, from one side to another side, if not take the point of the head it would never die.

{11-27,2-1.2022}

{19-13,1-31,2022}

on my way home checking cats which aren't spayed in a new place I met a cat which i had met months ago in someone's locked garden, it's not their cats, but the cat waited there for food. The cat is very weak, very thin.another orange cat is missing.food run out, so I walked back and went to a far store to get a chicken leg for human, gave her half, then I noticed there's salt in it when I got home with the left which I didn't give her because I run away from the bad guys who feed cats in that evil way again.the cat shocked for a while , then run to me, smelled the leg, shocked again , then took it away fast.then some young who played around hurried to check me, I left faster and left them behind.these morning when I check cats dogs were with me again for food. I shared some to them and they were happy until some men passing by tried to scared them because they spark to them.someone looked me down when I check cats, even when they live around there and dress clean fashion but they just keep ignorant to me who take care of cats like what they do to cats, and I saw a pregnant stray cat passing by the place where I check the white cat for good and water.I have helped strayed cats for 5 years here. Nothing changes.

{10-06,1-30,2022}

'I do not get crazy because they don't love me, but because I love them.'I wrote it down 12 years ago in my diary.And i burned them down today,and pray Mr fox will be fine in last examination to check if cancers all gone or not.

Between do something for the others or for myself, I don't always choose the second one.

Cheating someone to believe something is easy, but changing someone not to believe something is hard.or why nobody tried to stop so many Chinese believing in Mao and Chinese Party of communism who's as evil as Hitler and Nazi?

Everybody has secrcts to success badly, I don't have secrcts, but I still can't success badly.

When there's another world for dead, undying can't be in this world,neither.

{8-35,1-30,2022}

always feel sad when people get together happily in China . more they are , more sad I am.today is not colder than yesterday, little warm, but cloudy, looks like snowing soon or rains. Perhaps for the others I'm more communist than them it's why they call me freak or sired and stay away from me , and I'm not as same as the others.it's why I need to leave them alone, to leave here.lots of details point to truth for the secrects of both sides of my families.now rape, history of my city,love Japanese comics and culture,stubborn, cousin's dad buys him an apartment room beside the mountains which used to be graves, short bodies of kids on mother side, I love cats and mom says it's a shame, makes me guess if families on mother side or grandma had been raped by Japanese who was in China as soldiers in ww2 or not.why people call each other family and friends when they always keep the truth from each other, shouldn't families and friends always tell truth to each other and being transparent in everything? If they lie to each other, why they call each other families and friends again, and use lies to benefit themselves and harm each other to death? Is it funny for living or loving? I don't worry that if I'm communist or not, if I could leave here someday or not, it's all in my genes which are unknown for me.so is my future, and Iife.

{19-26,1-30,2022}

1.After missing for 2 or 3 days, the white ragdoll or Siamese mixed blood cat appeared when I walked out of the apartment at 5:25.often he waited the place for parking cars around other empty apartments where needs 10 minutes to walk there for me.He meow when walking towards mine, looked like looking for his human.And i saw him and called him, he responded and we run towards the empty apartment and he ate a good breakfast, he's hungry.then dogs came, he stopped eating and hides in the dark cold deep winter morning again.I tried to make him stay and eat more, but he refused and struggled away.

It shocked me a lot.

He has eyes as blue to white as Ragdoll or Siamese cat and larger than other kinds of cats I have ever seen except a ragdoll stray cat which's called catman-she's missing for almost 5 years-he's larger than her.when I met him in summer last year he's very thin and has problems of skins and dirty hair. He moved from the place we met,because other cats bullied him . After weeks I met him at the place where we meet everyday now for food. And someone else start to feed him also after they notice our movements.although he eats chicken chests a lot each time which almost are too expensive for me to offer it but I never give up and must keep working for him.

I want to adopt him but I don't have any room to make it come true.God, help him, build me to help him.kid, hang on, never give up, everything will be all right.

2.Wars only hurt people first even though it's governments' games under the table.

Now all the world is moving hard for a food future when only China goes hard towards a bad end.I can't say the whole world is sacrificing China, sometimes sacrifice is the last chance to take responsibility which you should have when you only wanna to escape.

There's no ww3, if China would be the one who starts ww3,why not being sacrificed by itself to avoid it for the world when it's part if it?

3.I don't like being treated like a criminal or thief when I walk on the roads in the markets in China just because for the others I don't have any communism smell.for others it is crime not to be a communist or a criminal in this country.it makes me wanna to be a real criminal and thief for communism.

But in another word, could being criminal and thief steal back honor and dignity or myself ? If it could there would be no criminal or thief or myself in the world anymore.

Sometimes people say they understand you, they know it when you tell them and explain what happen in your lives, in their ways. In movies actors and actress who understand and know how the roles they act feel and experience even if whole movies are based on true stories have own better lives by becoming super starts by their acting when the roles they act in their lives still suffer or suffered till they die unnoticed.the only one thing I could do is to get through my life and learn from it, not shows.

4.From the very beginning it's all illusion male likes me, of course female don't like me when they don't wanna to be like me being stayed away by male.no male likes me, for an.soy male it's so called safe that I won't be taken by other males or shame that he won't be envied by any other males including himself.Sometimes people never admit it, that's why they put on a mask. But is mask so important as life?

{23-54,1-28,2022}

I can't say if Chinese communists don't damage nature so much, I would not cut in to help cats so much, just like that if Chinese don't join in Chinese communism Party so many, Chinese communism Party would not be so thorny and dangerous.

Whatever they do it's their business, but whatever I do is mine. when I want to see cats being fine, I choose to see these things happening on them in China.like that when Chinese choose communism, they carry up all responsibility of what it destroyes in the world.

Truth is not so easy to be found but more difficult than that.

Whatever people believe in communism communists God or Catholic or Christine, they need income and to live. First to make money and live on by communism as a part, it's like cutting fresh meat from alive person to eat, now to make income for communism and to live survive by communism as a slave , it's like to eat carrion for survival.everyone feels boring about it, communism falls as fast as how much it's been rised.

To live by communism which rely on others' life and properties for communism, or to live by God which base on talents being given by God and for Him. Everybody could share with others by good hearts whatever they believe in communism or God, but they share for communism to benefit themselves or God to sacrifice themselves, it's the point.

If the world is based on God and everything's in hands of Him, why I'm bothered by someone or something which mean to disappear or not to exist at all? Cause I feel my parents believe I owe them a good communism future when I get out of communism's control, it's what Chinese Party of communism tells them about kid's benefits for themselves by communism  when they were young and they believed it. For them kids are communism.That's why communism is harm, actually all politics is like that, they can be banned, can be judged, can be destroyed, can be defeated, but their believers, followers,like communists, can't be destroyed so easy like communism, needs generations to fix it, and many sequels.sometimes my parents treat me bad because I'm not communist, sometimes they treat me bad because they wanna me to. If I can't change them into good ones, at least I could leave them alone.

{16-333,1-28,2022}

God damn it and this fucking place .

{14-33,1-28,2022}

Mr otter says time makes love. Perhaps he means time by life makes love.isn't time life when people are alive? After die there's no time a little bit.

{14-22,1-28,2022}

Got the whilte kid when I went to check cats at lunch time. He becomes thinner than before, little hungry, but still spiritual.

Another cat has bad injured around his ears, I gave him medicines and hope it will work very soon before he scratches again worse.

The cat in the last picture had missed for 3 days and she's very thin but still spiritual, but very hungry also. 

And there are two cats which are very weak because mouth hurts too much to eat, whatever fish cans, or chicken soup. i need to find more ways to do something for them. 

We are all hanging on to overcome this cold winter.

Parents start to prepare food for Spring Festival today. by getting their allowrance to upload online  I took these pictures.

They always say they don't love each other to me,then when I ask back about it they say it would never happen like that because they love each other, if someone give them money to divorce, they could do it anytime in any way.But the truth is that if it's not love, what is it?

{7-23,1-28 2022}

All things go together for one thing , perhaps it's truth, perhaps it's not. Perhaps my mom aabortrd her first child , not because of culture revolution or family planning of Chinese Party of communism, but because of rape.Perhaps my mom was raped once and had a baby which she aborted it when she was down to the countryside movement in culture revolution as an educated youth, by someone, by a communist, then married a communist, my dad, and looks him down just because he's not a captain but a soldier. She's a victim of communists and ignorance about it and still believe in it for a future on her daughter.like any other people who would rather harming hurting even trying to kill me than to tell me the truth that Chinese Party of communism destroys their whole lives, so they try to destroy me by making me experiencing my mom's life which bothers me so much being covered up by lies?

If it's true it could make everything clear in my life, most of them.but it's nothing I could do about it.

So why she's raped basing on this guess? Because she believes communism and its Party, and herself?

She's the one who is pitied most and she becomes someone like this if my guess is right.except pity she doesn't even know what's love, how does she knows I love her?

{7-10,1-2p22}

I got there on time and the white cat didn't show up, I left some dry food there and when I came back from checking other cats the dry food was gone. I waited there for a while and tried to call him, no response.hope to see him soon. I know we miss each other, and it's none business of food. 

I hope to see him again.

This morning I had to think a lot, about everything passes these days, months and years.

Should a kid die because  its existence is because of rape? Kids are innocent.

Dad means kids because of rapes should be aborted,his brother's wife told me my mom had a kid before me and I don't see anything about that kid and from the first day I'm born I feel there's someone around me, it's not human and it's not ghost.I wanna to know the truth. But she seemed so scared when she noticed I don't know the kid's existence and run away when I wanted to ask her about it.mom doesn't like dad, mom was sacred to go to work and she needed dad to protect her and sent her to her working place, and picked her up from it.she doesn't talk much, she doesn't have any interest on housework and living, love communism and money , scared to lose power to control me and dad and this family. and has bad characters, doesn't like me, has terrible to communicate and thinking and living on.dad is not her first love or true love. Dad said he marries her just because pity. Dad treats her like a slave when he's in communism military.when he and she married in their photo they both looked like dead.cousin on mother side raped me and aborted my kid, it's my first kid.then he joins in Chinese communism police to service Chinese Party of communism for communism.I don't like communist, but farmer.mom always say I would like to 'pity' any other including cats than to pity her as a mom.and when she's young she was pitted by the others of dad's friends who were communists also.

{1-04,1-28,2022}

I tasted the dinner of parents last evening, first time I feel all food is too bad to eat for me when I used to love all their cooks.although I only ate fast noodle and sausage for lunch from the morning.

I didn't say anything, it's wrong to eat their food and cooks anymore, how could I judge them?

I don't know how me fox feels about their cooks when he's here and ate parent's cook for one week, but I know when he cooked for my parents and me after we shopped all these food in Wal-Mart he's so happy, and for me his dinner was outstanding and we cleaned the dishes and bowls together.he even wanted to buy a barbecue pit and I said it's okay, thank you.

Hope he's fine for the first check after successful radiation.

Dad doesn't wanna to die, mom wants to live.Mr fox walks with God like all good people for me do.why do I live?

I walk with God,too, but I'm not good.

Suddenly I don't understand what Chinese post on Twitter anymore who have a lot of fans.they are talking about one thing when they mean another thing.they are leading who read them to what they want the readers to think about what they are posting, the ways to think about what they are talking about, and their behaviors for me is criminal, even if what they talk was right.

Nobody could do everything to get their goals unless their 'victim's complicity.

Honestly it's almost 6 years for me to connect internet by vpn to know the world, I still don't understand what American do and why they do things in this way and that way and how everything goes like today. But it doesn't effect or bother or even change me anymore , I still like them, even more than before.

{3-12,1-27,2022}

just wanna to hang over on the internet without communism and politics to take a breath. 

Then find out in my life it's full of 'feral' Chinese communists in China when it's full of 'stray' Chinese communists online abroad.some of them are 'pet' and 'adopted' and 'used' and even 'slaved'. But on every Chinese I could see logo marks and shadows of communism, even on some foreigners.

It's the only tragic whatever else happen in my life for me including rape.

To eat my parents' food makes me feel I'm eating my own body while being requested and shamed to thank them for it.cause whatever i give as being myself they don't like them, but only want a communist by myself whatever I pretend to be or not.

I don't like my life being designed, planed and controlled to be a good one or an evil one by and for God, or to be a believer or fighter or terrorist or 'gods' by and for Chinese communists. If my death is designed also by them, it can't screw them up at all.

{2-47,1-26,2022}

I will not eat anything of yours, I said.

I will see what you eat when everybody goes back home to have a spring festival, dad said.

{21-08,1-26,2022}

today parents of cousin who raped me came to my parents' apartment with some food, I tried to push them out and she said had to borrow the bathroom or shit in her pants then I had to let her in to use bathroom. Then they were in.then he said it's for my parents with these several kinds of food. Parents both were not at home. I talked with them for 10 minutes for if my parents could bought the apartment of communism  apartment to live, if I could teach their 2 years old grandson English and if I could visit cousin's new house to stay and play with their grandkid.I don't wanna to say anything with them. Just talking around but no answer for any of them, wished they leaves soon. she wanted to see one of my cats , and my cat Aily became so scared when she saw her in my arms, run everywhere and hiss to her with all hair standing up on her tail to fight against her. As I know she had some operations to give up some kids of hers with her husband after they have cousin,and she seems like a Buddha to pray for them every day. But she never looks like a Buddha for me, I couldn't see ghosts of these babies on her, but cats might could. And perhaps they are not kind ghosts anymore by she 'prays'.sister of dad saw my cat before, my cat tried to play with her and smell, but she only stepped back and said don't get closed to her.she wanna to hurt her.

I hug my cat tightly when she said something to my cat, I love my cat and don't wanna her to listen to anything from them especially her who's a liar. My cat was scared and tried to run out from there, I was worried if the door kept open I would lose her always because of my mistake to let them inside.

Then I told my parents about it. When dinner time I read news on the internet out of Chinese local area internet about America not going to set army or soldier in Ukraine , and talked about the mom dog which kept her 11 puppies frozen to dead in winter time when there are people helping them to keep warm by pads as a sad tragic, animals and human are the same when they feel depressed and dangerous , hard to keep babies alive they would kill their babies and hang on for next chance.he laughed and said the mom dog must be raped,that's why she killed her kids. I talked back that sometimes there are rapes happening on someone who have dad also, some dad rape their daughter also, what's the meaning to have a dad for, it's shit.then he became embarrassed and said there are, but it's rarely.his laugh makes me so sick.it makes me feel he knows cousin raped me and I aborted the baby just because of rape instead of considering the whole life of the baby if I gave birth and he has fun on it.i feel he plans everything about it.

I told my parents to keep Aily in their room or sunshine room to isolate , to stop her to run out of the door for being scared and lost if there's someone visiting again, they get angry again and say I only care love respect cats, no parent in my eyes when Aily run out 3 times and I caught her in the apartment stairs 3 times because they opened the door and said Aily isn't stupid and even open the door she would not run out a little bit. when I  caught her and hug her, I told her don't do that again Aliy, it would kill me, I love you,without you I could not even live on but die inside with tears, she listens to me, she loves me also that's why she still stays with me.

I told him don't invite any family friend home anymore,if communism governments use big data to catch all of us to lock down for making money, they would kill all cats I have, including one of them which sleep with them every night in bed and they seem loving her.then he gets angry again and said I only don't wanna them to come and get out his(rented)house and he doesn't need me to pay anything to stay here when they just asked me for money to rent my room last month which I have spent more than 1,500CNY on them to pay the room I live, food bills which they ask for a happy spring festival when I still need to pay internet bill by being laughed at them that it's too little for them to satisfy anything in their life about me and I do, I don't care them at all, it's their business to come or not, but I don't feel safe when I'm surrounded by them, for my cats.I told him if Chinese government kills my cat I will suicide,but before it I will kill someone to die with me.then he gets angry again , he said you always talk about suicide, always wanna to kill me and your mom,go to die and don't pull me and your mom in. I told him,no, I would not kill them who aren't worthy ,I prefe to go to local governments and kill some communists and someone walking on the roads who believe in communism as many as I could.he laughed again and said yes, then your head would have a communism bullet hole and die soon before you do it, you are a terrorist.

Does my dad try to tell me cousin's mom was raped before they have cousin because she's an orphan? Or cousin's dad raped her then married her for it? Or they already know I was raped by cousin but still laughing at me who doesn't have anyone to stand by like an orphan more than mom of the cousin is especially when I have a so called dad who never treat me like his kid just because I'm not a son ? Should an orphan be raped when she's an orphan? For me it's only like my dad wanting to laugh at me by rape which he never wants to know and never tries to stop it even making it happen when he knows something about the truth.

Not every right things are done, that's why there's not everyone becoming a hero.

All Chinese are not innocent wherever they are.Hope punishments isn't too late.

When I talked with dad about them his favorite Huawei phone is just lying in his hand. Communism big data must recognises the key words and upload them to system, I should be on some lists which means to watch or jail or kill now.from the very beginning my parents only use me and watch me and want to report me to Chinese communism Party and see me to be killed for their own selfish and corruptions, power and lies when they lie they love me, they are the only ones who love me most in this world, everything they do is for my good sake. they just need a chance to delete me and have a new communism start.do they know they love me? Perhaps, but communism is for loving communism only, except love for communism any other love could be used and sacrificed for communism to buy them next love to use again.

{9-15,1-26,2022}

Ukraine is a trap.if Russia has already controlled it, it can or can't start any war in it like beating itself.it's a show to be paid for separating feeling of American again by nothing and making troubles for America and pulling it into worse status of Afghanistan.

{8-21,1-26,2022}

Russia starts wars in some countries every time when Olympic is operated by Beijing. Feels like Russia takes money of Chinese communism Party to do it, and Chinese Party of communism uses Olympic to continue and expand its plans. Yes, not only transfer attentions of America, England or Canada, and so on.cause wars catch too much attentions than the other ways indeed if it's only for covering up traps in Olympic.

Taiwan can't be a start in a war, but a reason for it.in Chinese book 'the art of war' there's 'to beat someone at their own game'.whatever who beat whose games, if the third world war starts this time, I don't wanna Chinese Party of communism to win still after it starts it by hands of Russia, like how much they make by making and spreading Wuhan virus into the world.even thought I don't believe Chinese Party of communists, but there are always someone believing them in their worst status which is designed by communists for themselves, like my parents.

{7-43,1-26,2022}

I took some fish cans back for him, except some dry food which isn't mine there for him perhaps, I call him again and he doesn't response.

I don't like political marriage, my parents still don't have a house for themselves but Trent communism military's apartment to live in rest of their lives and when dad dies it will be taken back and we would never have plenty money to buy somewhere to settle safely.it's hard for me to change them betraying Chinese party of communism when they accept places of it to breath.but it's not for me.comparing to service Chinese communism Party by my whole life and being with my kids and husband staying in communism apartment isolated, I would like to fight against it for service God to have a good place to live with them.yes,perhaps like what demon thinks and says, what I do is no difference from demon itself.

{7-01,1-16,2022}

He's already there at 5:32 when I got there where's the place communists parking their own cars. He doesn't wanna to leave in -9℃ early morning ,but ate little, not as much as before and looked being scared by something or someone, feels like nowhere to go and stay anymore, like I do.

I have built so many cat shelters as good as  I can by all money and everything I wanna and make and have.now I need a home, not only for him.

{5-01,1-26,2022}

Wake up at 00:34, and can't close my eyes again, don't wanna to be late again and don't wanna let the white cat when I close them, feel like if I close my eyes and fall asleep again he would leave forever.

I usually get there 5:40, in the past 3 days, he's always there hanging on for me. I wake up at 5:40 and got there 5:55 from the snowy day, he hasn't been there for 4 days if he's still missing today.

{2-32,1-26,20022}

I walked around where the cat appeared every day for hours yesterday by taking his food, tried to call him back, nothing showed up. I saw a cat showing up, but disappearing nowhere. I pray very hard. I miss him.I can't stop tears running from my eyes.

I put a mini camera in the corner there at 16:30, with water and food, although it could only works for 2 hours, I will check it 3 hours later to see if he shows up or not for dinner , he often shows up at that time for dinner every day.the food will be eaten, I want to know which cat does it, if he shows up or not.

God bless my little smart boy, and another girl is still missing, too. But she with her families has a shelter for them.even though she doesn't appear when other cats do, she's alive and I know , cause it's in her genes, she's like her grandma , which is the white cat being spayed last week and should has been caught and spayed 5 years ago when I met her for the first time , skinny,weak and ill. Her mom is spayed and fine.I plan to spay her and her little sister when spring comes.

I took 5 years to put her grandma in the bag and took her to the vet for the operation. When I met her grandma, her grandma was pregnant and her mom survives with another kitten. When another kitten grew up and pregnant and gave birth and missing, the last time I saw her was when she's so happy to try to hunt a bird although she's skinny but spiritual. I called her and she looked at me nervously and run away. I adopted one of her kitten which is Yoda, and another kitten from nowhere which is Caly. The other kittens disappear slowly without mom cat around there even though I check them and take food and water for them every day. 

Then before the doctor spayed her mom, she was pregnant and gave her and the little sister birth.and after her mom is spayed, her grandma was pregnant again,another two kittens which are as wild as their mom are to alert to be caught survive this year.

Too much ignorance, blames, misunderstood,curses, being laughed at and shamed and things happen when these years from the first day I cut in to take care of cats in these streets, looks like nothing changes, but nothing being perfect is perfect enough, to find home I need to lose my way first.Cats were like painful ghosts and being killed, bullied and played by Chinese there, now look clean, playful, have faith to live on and something change on them. They are and should not  be ignored, blamed or cursed or poisoned or sold for meat into Chinese restaurant like rats and blamed to catch rats and pick up garbage to survive as slaves by anybody when all cats have wild independent liberty nature hearts and souls and being themselves.I don't change numbers of cats in any places by spaying them as many as I could, but I adopt 6 cats. I know I can't save and adopt all cats, but I can change more and more Chinese for knowing cats, life's equal and God's love by myself.

I notice only love,care and respect could makes them feel good, it works on all life I hope.but when lights are more&stronger, shadows are more dangerous&darker.

{8-58,1-25,2022}

two cats are missing.the white cat disappears three earlier morning. I cried every time when I waited him in the cold morning winds, thought of him being hungry and haven't eaten well for 3 days.I need to keep look for him until he appears again for me.

Cats never be late unless I'm late.

{16-43,1-24,2022}

last night I told dad there's no reason for me to compare with others who pay more for what they gain, it's not fair. I have my own life which's God's will and never can't be changed so easily by Taoism or other ways like wizards when for them my birth is only a communism mission for them,too.I will never marry for the others or Chinese Party of communism until I find who I love when he loves me, I know when parents were young they married each other for missions of communism Party's, introduce of communists and allowance of them and communism families both.when the others feel I'm lovely my mom only wants to pity me. my mom doesn't pity me for pity, but for shaming me, cause she only respects communists and never like me who's not .or why she doesn't pity others who need her fucking pity as communists but scared of them? It's my life also if God sends parents like this to me, whatever how much I don't like them, how much bad I treat them when they are alive and how much i miss them after they die, none of their business. dad didn't say anything, he only said if he knows the kid is me before I was born  he would never let me come into this world.

My dad isn't only a drunker, but also a liar, a communist.I thought my parents are crazy for communism, now I see they are also liars, so they can be communists,even by drunk and arguments to confuse me ,to lead me wrong and to cover it up, like a bitch and asshole, actually more worse, communists. I tell truth all the time , not only following the truth, but also it's the only way to keep me from being harmed by the others.

If it's their life not to divorce as a couple of communism when they are alive, perhaps it must be a sign for Chinese Party of communism to end someday when they die, unless they change.

{8-51,1-24,2022}

Chinese Party of communism is a huge corrupted system. Why it corrupts? Because it has power to corrupt for benefiting self, or it corrupts for power and communism missions itself? Communism is for and to corrupte, and corruption is communism? Only? No. But only only one makes sure corruption to rule everything 'legally',it's not a normal moldy orange for demon or ghosts to make other fruits moldy, but demon or ghosts themselves.

{13-24,1-23,2022}

Although Chinese Party of communism produces and sends human-made 'gods' which are communists having China for their backs to the world especially America for both messing up their faith of God and depressing down Chinese' will of deities in China, feet appearing in mirages and feet standing on the grounds of God could be never same. 

Praying for benefiting self by hurting others doesn't go towards to God.

{2-27,1-23,2022}

it's very ridiculous that Chinese communists don't believe in God or demon as atheists like what they say when all they do is only about demons.

[5-35,1-22,2022]

Communism isn't only sharing money, good luck, happiness and even miracles and God like a show, but also power, bad luck, sadness and even disasters and evil demon for real.

Image one of your families even need you to pay their paper tower when they store gold at their own home and tell you it's for all of you someday until they take everything away by setting you up and killing you.

Communists are not on the top, but bottom of the world when the world is closed,lockdown and like a black-box operation.Very lowest places they stay. So communists don't spread the world ,but hide in the world, especially corners ans bottoms of the world where could keep they together and unnoticed. 

Image the world is like a Guangdong wok, everything in it is chicken chest soup,meat is meant to be on the bottom for communists who hide there when only water above meat to share with the others for making them work harder than and for communists.

Honestly communism is very easy to notice: they are happy , sad, angry or pity by themselves, or 'themselves', love, care, respect and trust others, or 'love,care,respect and trust' others.

One of reason why communism or communists is so hard to notice is that they are humanity or human being, not natural, but human- made. And human-made stuff or thing is material for Chinese communists to abandon. So it is used to explain why chairmen of Chinese Party of communism can be changed by themselves, but its power in Chinese communism Party can't be. materials for them are not only stuffs anymore but things, including human-made 'demon' which are their members,and human-made 'god' which are their leaders to keep its balance inside of communism systems.it's coping human world, but never be.its existence only proves the way the human world's falling.

That's why when you join in Chinese communism you feel you are part of communist Party but you never belong to it, cause you can be sacrificed anytime, when you get rid of it you feel you are abandoned by the whole world, cause you and your brains are trained and washed to realize the world by these in that way.

So there's a question ,God or Jesus exist by belief of human only or they exist indeed in human history. if they don't exist, they are human-made imagination of human being,like human-made existence of communism and Chinese Communists who give people free money, stuffs , weapons, virus like free 'god' and 'demon', Chinese communism 'god' and 'demon'.if they exist where's the proof making them be God and Jesus. for communists to replace them to rule human especially whom still believe in God and Jesus, angels and demon or not-cause more they believe in God and Jesus,more means to use and corrupt them when they don't believe in them more damage they could make-they appoint who're 'demon' who are 'god' by and for themselves. Basing on it Chinese communists make everything to destroy the human world only to rule it, it's demon itself, not just a human made.

Feeding communists is not the same as feeding pats and stray animals, when they feed communists as feeling around of saving life, doing right things and following justice people they are feeding the most evil human nature even demons at the same time.everything goodness goes to communists when badness goes to the others who give them and hands, and the others still feel confused why it happens and ask and blame God about it if human rights , talent, equal and life are given from God.

They are cheated, lied trapped and betrayed  by communists who only believe in badness or demon which is called communism.

Watch out whom have the most big money,treasure, luck and future in their own pockets or lives when they don't even need to work a little bit but hide somewhere to watch everyone , set up everything, rule every communists for themselves. 

Follow the truth.

If the world becomes a wok for communism and cimmunists, I will break it cause it doesn't suit anyone else to live well anymore in it, and if everybody is soup to be eaten in it like this including myself, I will choke someone who make the wok and cook and eat the soup till they die. if to destroy communism is to destroy the world, it only means I'm not the world or any part of it.

Communists also prefer to corrupt good hearts and souls but arrogant and ignorant completely, like demons and criminals love pure body to posses and torture.If you are basterds or strong or both you don't need to worry about being used or corrupted by it, but being killed.

And don't think that you feed a normal nobody when they are communists-nobody is the best body to hide communism-you feed demon at the same time, too.

[12-23,1-21,2022]

Population of Chinese was and still is mission of Chinese Communism Party for Chinese, it harms too much,even life for my parents being born in 1950s know Chinese communism Party treat them as property , but if someday Chinese communism Party sell them and they could even celebrate for it.every step of my life and every breath I take by every second for my parents is proving that Chinese Communism Party is 'right', even including life of my parents.when they are proud of me  it's for communism, when they are shame of me it's for communism also and it's why they wanna me to work for Chinese Communims Party always.it's wrong for me.whether they divorce or not, whatever communim is destroyed or not, they will live on by it in rest of their lives and never change, it doesn't make any sense to live for a theory, politics and murders.it isn't worthy for me to live for someone or something like this and it's why I wanna to kill myself by living here sometimes.I don't fear death, if my life is going on in my parents' way again and will never change, I accept it, but never scared of it.

[8-18,1-21,2022]

Born as myself, alive as myself, die as myself.No body could control it including me.

Don't like my parents judge me about how much I love them by money, about everything, and treat me as political enemy who's their own kid me for food , for water, for stuffs and for materials to eat, to drink to use and to live in.

Although they starve and suffer or even dying in communism revolution in 20 century, but it's not my fault or the reason and excuse why they treat me badly for communism.

[1-28,1-21,2022]

Sometimes what I have doesn't make me proud,but only shame.

I remind today I read a Chinese post on local area communism Chinese internet about a Korean movie which is called 'Way Back Home' 2013 that being alive and dead is politics  years ago, instead of posting God or religions or belief, it only makes me wanna to die , even though I know they are both fucking bullshit of politics.

Honestly whatever Chinese Party of communism will end soon or not, whatever which country is the super country or not, whatever who's saint of China in the future, my life is my life, me is me,cat is still cat.

Even if human being could write history, history still could not be rewritten by or for human being.

[1-14,1-21,2022]

Philosophy is wisdom which has an answer, but religion is truth which can't. Human could be told who they are, but God can't be.Human could be known what they do, God can't be.

More truth, more difficult to believe for me.

Sometimes the most dangerous trees are not these young trees growing up, but trees seem strong huge and good with worms corrupted dead pith.they fall down suddenly.

[7-30,1-14,2022]

Only I use my money to buy food for stray cats and dogs and spay them when others accept food and money from the others,  only I take care ill weak old stray cats and dogs by fish cans and chicken livers which I cook on my own when others feed them happily and leave quickly after puting overdraft food of restaurants which they cooperate with.only i feed cats dogs which are picky and bullied by other dogs by chicken meats and soup every day.Only I stop to pat and feed stray cats ans dogs when others put food water for them then driving away quickly. Only I check then at earlier morning and lunchtime every day. Only I buy food and stuffs for parents who need me to pick up the packages in cold weathers when they called taxi to get home after I asked their help to pick up them.Only I do everything for them and get only blames and cursed and shit for thanks when they only listen to what others say who are kids of their sisters and brothers. Only I make no trouble for anybody when I'm  always the trouble for anybody else which is wanted to get rid of and screwed up.I satisfy by it, because of my greed and closed-minded.

[21_00,1-18,2022]

Whether Chinese know or not, they are leaded by greed, and Chinese communism Party uses greed to lead them wrong. And when they are greedy, they still wanna others not to tell they are stupid.communism is like the lord of the ring, Chinese Communism Party is like Gollum, Chinese is like hobbits.and someone something whatever are hobbits or not are Not themselves anymore by being effected twisted changed and turned by communism, or they never are who they pretend to be.

[7_46,1-18,2022]

every penny Chinese and communists pick up,save, collect ,steal,cheat and rob from the others is for controlling the other, ruling the world and keep their own powers. 

Is it every penny, every second, every life , every love and every behavior you lose ,give up, abandon, betray , lie to and hurt?

[7_34,1-18,2022]

squirrel always wants to know why Chinese bully hurt hunt kill Chinese. I don't know what others think or feel, but for me personally I don't like to see same nation or same species  heat hurt hunt  kill each other. So when it happens I cut in sometimes.

[6_57,1-18,2022]

Listened to squirrel who helps me to get my payment, he said if I didn't pay rent for the rooms I live with parents who rent rooms from Chinese communism military he would not send me my money again.I paid 300 CNY every month to dad, and last two months I spent about 1,500 cny on them to buy them food they love, expensive cloths they want and take care of their lives.I shared everything with them and bought everything even for spring festival , I even had no money left to buy what I want to eat and love to wear and chicken livers which is 2cny for stray cats, they were happy until yesterday they got corruptions from other communists, mom didn't ask me for dinner again, she ate on her own, good food for free from me and others, I was hungry and didn't notice it until 21:00.I told her I was hungry, she laughed with drunk dad who drunk with his bosses and said you could eat tomorrow morning. I piss off and took out of one little sausage of theirs and cooked a dinner for myself.then she piss off and said I charged here and ate everything in her life.I feel I'm her slave in that way.she doesn't have a job, she never liked her job,she gets communism social assurance from Chinese Party of communism, but only play sick games as communist when she's not an official communist being registered on their lists.

Then I looked back, she pushed out every little money from pockets of dad and push him out of this home to look for  food, dad has to look for some bad guys to be drunk with others for little food because he's hungry.and most of time he only gets drunk and when he gets home hungrily again and cooks himseld some noodles he is blamed and cursed by mom every time.And she blames he drunk each time because of what she has done to him. If she stops taking away money of dad and dad can feed himself well and no drink at all.now what she has done on me is as same as what she has done on dad.doing everything to shake bully hurt even killing me inside to take away all money in my pockets and push me who is starve weak hurt and painful out to make fucking more money by getting a communism job or communism bf husband kids and family. she even tries to force me to send my so called big money back which I lie to her that fox keeps them for me by my works online for leaving China forever under the name of loving me, caring me and respecting me.of course I refuse because there's no money of mine in fox's account.I just wanna to see the truth in her fucking lies.I thought she turns into bad because of communism, now I see she is communism and just is good at pretending being normally, from the very beginning.she never wants money indeed, she wants to destroy me.

Dad was right to want to divorce her and I stopped it, I wanted to to refuse me and divorce her for himself instead of me, but he didnt say anything. my mistake.he's already dead from that day ,for me.

This country, communism China, from the first day it appears,from the first day communists appear in it, it's for those who don't work but only use others who work hard well normally to make money, get what they want and benefit themselves.whatever money, lower, love, marriage, life or belief.everything is for communism to charge the world, do you see any path which should be walked by people and in the middle of it planting big trees in line to stop them walking in? Do you see any kitchen being built out of apartments and people are so easily to watch each other ? Do you see any volunteer who take care of stray little animals force other volunteer to donate cat dog food and money and do see any volunteer who take care of stray little animals force other volunteer to accept their donation of cat dog food and money? Do you see lights on the walls of locked-down communists' areas of houses are too dark so they could protect their faces from being noticed by normal Chinese at nights when the lights inside of their areas are lightening enough that everyone who could enter there by privilege and communism ID can see each other's face clearly? I do. And I don't understand I help stray little animals, why they try to force me to give them food and money five years ago, now try to force me to accept their food and money? For someday they make me scapegoat of theirs and stepped stones?

Chinese communists always say they set free Chinese from being slaves to be masters. But it's different from America who set slaves free forever, they set Chinese from being slaves of some others and make Chinese being slaves of themselves.under the name of freedom and setting these slaves who trust them for free, they become masters of theirs. 

True freedom should has no condition which is untold to object especially.it's a business, even worse, it's a shit.

[4_25,1-18,2022]

Rightly to find truth needs to be surrounded by all lies including silence and speechlessness.

[19_37~20-22-1_17-2022]

today I spay a stray cat which I tried to catch her for more than 5 years, she's the first stray cat I put food there and return to check from that day of my life.i had wanted to spay her for more than 5 years.now she has a daughger ,a grand son, and two grand daughters which I will spay them later when weather's warmer a little bit . Only when there's a because, there's an end. 

When I sent her to the secret room to recovery her strength, in the pad of a corner of the room an stray orange cat died. I picked it up and buried it, its body starts to be soft from being hard.I found a hole and cover the body up with woods under a big tree, prayed for it and dig a cross on the tree. The cat died painfully.the paw twisted and the body was little skinny.it threw out before dead, all of food from his stomach was only fish bones as garbage.I told one of middle-aged woman who I add her back on communism spy app.I called her rat woman personally because she looks like a rat.another old woman is snake woman.the garbage which the cat threw out was either she feed or the snake woman feed when I only take dry food ,cans and chicken meat and livers' soup , and water for all cats.she said she would never feed fish bones again only dry  cat food and rice with fish and it hurts her too much.I taught her how to catch cats and dogs safely inharmly for them and tell her how to deal with people who poison cats  and treat her bad for feeding cats and dogs.

Cats never talk in human language, but they know everything, more than everything.I check them every day ,I know today I may see them, tomorrow they may die somewhere and never come back again.I don't wanna to miss them or regret, I must  do my best to change something between me and cats.

I saw a stray cat's 3 kids dead and she put them in line , waiting in the rains to ask help from me to heal them or bury them in big rain, and she also took her dead kitten which had a broken leg and lost too much blood to me for help or a funeral, and it's still her having dead kitten stuck in pussy with something tie its neck ,and I had to cut them off pull her kids out and gave her medicines to eat after she missing 3 days until I decide to spay her.I can't accept any possibility to lose her by pregnant until she left someday. From the day she left , I walk around there everyday to hang on for her to come back someday and start to take care all stray cats I could meet there.but i never see her again. She check me 3 times in one month, ate like being starve for a week, then left always.the workers worked there those days and communists hired them to block all windows and doors of the absorbed building where she's born there, grew up there and played there, and met me there. She was worried starring at workers working before she left until she left.she's the friend of the first stray cat I adopted which played together. 5 years ago, I could only adopt one of them who both followed me home one day and I sent them back.

Everyone who feed stray cats have stories with cats. My mom always say there's no no-reason love and there's no no-reason hate.everything about little animals is difficult for me to do.but I can give them up when they must live on.living on in this way or in that way, it's the only thing I could change for them a little bit.

I did operation of my first baby because of rape.I read  in Google it says mom cats kill her kids sometimes when they know their kids can't survive in bad environments or conditions, for next time, I heard from the rat woman that a mom stray dog I meet sometimes killed 11 puppies of hers last week , she didn't see it, but after she left the mom dog putting her in pads she prepared for the puppies , in one hour after she came back the puppies were all die far away from pad, frozen in 20:00 winter night.did she kill them because she knows they had bad chance to survive like cats,too? I felt it's so hard for my baby to born as a sacrifice of a criminal rape and incest ,everyone even the world would bully it, then I had to spay it on my own.I thought it's good for it, but as good as being an animal.even animals love their kids.what about me?? I call who rape me less than an animal, what did I do to my baby isn't less than an animal, worse?

Snake woman's food killed the oranges cat, she asks money for stray dogs she adopts from rat woman after rat woman gives her dry food for adopted cats, I visited her last time ,no cat at all, only some cats suffer dogs and her bully and blames. rat woman connected me times to give me dry cat food and money for thanks. I refuse always. I take care of cats for God, not for them or money .and if I will become someone saving cats then kill them someday, if I change and show who I am, cats, I will leave before I hurt you and stop everything, even my breathing. At least I never have a home, but you do.

[8_41~9_00-1_172022]

is it true a person having nothing when they are born? Is that true nothingness means everything? Is this true everything is nothing, but only love?

[4_50-1_17-2022]

I thought hedgehog - actually he's an otter- is a female, cause no male in my life loves me, even my dad only wants to use me for money, food and power.my parents think I owe them a future when they decided to give me a birth, they decide everything of mine including going abroad or not, study communism or not, marry or not, have a home or not,. But they owe me a life, normal life when I'm born.and perhaps I will owe my kid a normal life if I pregnant and give her/him a birth,too in this communism country. This is why I can't marry till now.

This is why I feel otter's a female online cheating me for fun or for kindness to me.cause no male likes me in my true life, or get closed to me, or even wanna to marry me, give me a baby and take care of everything for me.I don't have any connect with any male in my life except my dad who I love with, and rarely connect with a female or two who feed stray cats only, and the only thing I talk with them is about how to take care of cats and things happening about cats, and stray dogs.for me if some man loves me so much, it must be a bad female who wants to have fun on me by pretending a male to connect me, or revenge or jealous or pity me by using males to trap me. Nothing else.

All connect with any other is important for me. It's part of my life, more than my life. If they could live better than me, I should leave them alone.And never come back.I'm lonely, I'm okay.

God, I love all you giving to me and being taken from me.I know you take care of all of them so they would never lose their ways home and find their way home to be with their love.

[2003-116-2022]

fox2- actually he's a squirrel- says he wanna to see what he wants when he pays for work for it. He's right. Even when what I want is only to want others good  safe happy healthy and right. I ask for pay in this way also, for others and for myself isn't different for gains. and true love doesn't ask for prize and rewards , if it asks for them it's not true love. And if it happens, anybody shall go away, leave even abandon betray me for true love they deserve , own and have, and mean to.

Sometimes to be true doesn't mean to be real. Just like that it's a fact I'm trying to be a saint who try to find truth among lies, but the truth is that I'm a fool who want to pick up moon from water.

[736-116-2022]

yes,as human being everyone could be selfish as possible as they want unless Not base on others pains , life or death, and sacrifice. 

Two cats are weak in this morning,they normally didn't show up in the earlier morning and they are too weak to eat dry food I take for young cats. I didn't take cans with me this morning it's my mistake. I need to find them again today by giving them some medicines and fish cans.don't give up, keep trying.I can make it.they could make it.God bless all of them.God bless you all.

[1938-115-2022]

Although I can't suffer that parents thank Chinese Party of communism for surviving which made Chinese starve and die in history including themselves when communists ate well and live luxurily, honestly if the first thought for whom reject, abandon, control, decide my life,  ignore, laugh at, play,lie to , betray even kill me of mine is to destroy , revenge, hate, harm,hurt and kill them, what's the difference between me and communism?

People are used, cause they can be.don't wanna to be used, to be what they can't use.

Focus on truth, unless I'm the 'truth'.

[731-115-2022]

Calm down, there must be some truth for me which I haven't found yet but fake things show up , that's why I was losing trip so much.

Justice doesn't or can't win so easily.

There's still at least 10 years for me to go to get through everything . And 10 years to keep alive can Not expect on or only because of luck for me.

Hovering.

[19-28,1-14,2022]

Today me and my dad become foes.but I didn't make him too embarrassed in the end.

I told him I always fight against communism, communism Party and despotism,if Xi Jinping and all chairmen of Chinese Party of communism's life and their families friends' life are so valued by needing to kill millions Chinese by releasing virus, and as they promise they always service Chinese people when they join in communism Party, they must go to die for giving me all people die in coronavirus back.

First, Mao Zedong was as bad as Hitler, even worse. Second, Chinese Party of communism is as evil as Nazi,especially what they do in XinJiang, call it studying centers when it's camp like Nazi's for Judas. third, someday in history we all are sinners as being Chinese by what we do in our lives. Did Germany in ww2 most of them noticed Nazi was wrong, but always right and still enjoyed life when they were happy and watched the worlds suffering and believed their country would be the greatest the country by the greatest nation in the world? Although in Nazi there's no corruption,no disapprovbation  against Nazi, but they killed corrupted Nazi, put who disapprove it in jails and munder them, like Chinese communists put them in jails and kill them sometimes also.they force people in Xinjiang giving up own cultures by threatening, beating, tortures and murders. Forth, most of Chinese stand by Chinese Party of communism,someone like me are so few, even if I'm alone keeping telling against and fighting against Chinese Party of communism I'm still doing it, cause it doesn't mean you are right and safe , wise and powerful when you are with the most people who never do these.

My dad laughed, he said he wants me to protest in front of the door of communism governments in my city, wants me to call myself President of China and with someone to start another revolution for destroying Chinese Party of communism, wants me to go to America instead of telling useless shit to him.I told him I can't change it by protest here, Preisdent could be only by votes, any revolution is illegal for being any legal government, staying or not it's my choice, not his anymore.

Talks ended.I didn't win.but I know me and dad are done for communism from today always.

In politics there's no forever foe or friends,like businesses.but there's only one same thing for me I learn from both of them and can't be parts of it, they only stay with, fall in love and marry someone who only compromise to themselves,own political spectrums and own business benefits instead of listening to their hearts, respect freedom and personality willings, believe in their faith.

[16-21,1-13,2022]

In past of my life, communism only burns everything of it, only suffers and pains left, like forests after wild fire. if communism is like fire, China is like forest, China burns by it with big winds for almost 100 years, only big water and God's fire or the whole planet being burned down could make it stop.

America and other west countries are like metals, when they believe in God which means  sunshine and lights fire, God this fire meltes and casts metals into good models, too.

Coronavirus in Taoism is like fire(dark or evil fire from hell) also, it is released by Chinese communism(dark and evil fire from hell) towards America(metal) and all other countries which stay with it.

What the Hell is Going On ? Communists wanna to turn the world especially America into evil models for benefiting themselves to rule the world?

If Coronavirus can't turn America and the world into evil models, it still can make them weak enough and even destroy them from fighting against China and Chinese communism.cause it's totally only benefit communism itself. Communism doesn't belong to human world, it should go back to hell.and communists will only weaken and destroy themself.

So there's a question, why so many people die in this disaster? To make America great again and save the world this time from communists? No. But it depends on if it's still America itself or America which has been cut in even controlled by Chinese communists first.

What's Chinese communism for me? Chinese communism is that telling the world I don't wanna guns or rights or truth or God because I'm crazy dangerous sick and dead when they take them away and cheat them away and cover them up and isolate me in the world for only itself when nobody belongs to it.

[12-33,1-13,2022]

And I'm so sad that when my parents get old every day except Mao Zedong and communism Party of China there's no other and any other alive and dead in their 'heart',even if they have Alzheimer's disease. Actually their hearts and brains have already died for any religion and culture in the world.

[10-19,1-13,2022]

When I see mom who should work ballhappily st her age listening to the apps about how much bad America treats China and Chinese with her head lower down for money from Chinese communism governments to feed her greed and sins,like being lazy. I'm sad for her. I feel I'm in North Korea. But actually more worse, I'm in China. It makes me disgusting.

Reading lots of Chinese and communists posting online abroad, I just figure out it's wasting my time. it'll be more earlier for me to leave this place than to expecting Chinese Party of communism disappear in this country.

To meet someone alive in the world is more difficult to see someone dead in the past? It's the most and too ridiculous thing to agree with that for me.

Is it managing a country so difficult? Especially when in a country like Chinese who should be kind, simple,polite,smart and faithful in gods? I don't think so unless Chinese cimmunists make chaos to benefit themselves, make troubles for the others to benefit themselves, make everything harder to benefit themselves by taking advantage of the others. They are paid to stop making bad things, or they make things worse with no limitation. This is what a communist Is.

Destroy ccommunism by wars is never a best choice for anybody, unless it's the only one.and the wars will be the favourite part of all 'Chinese'.

[11-48,1-12,2022]

poor in pockets is not about how much money in your pickets, but how do you think and feel the world and about it. neither is being rich in pockets.

Chinese and communists know how to think and feel to be rich and poor , like what American do, but communists don't tell the others.and lie to them.They tell they help the others get rid of being poor by giving them free materials when spreading poor thoughts and ways to live for benefiting themselves from the others.how could such men want you to be poor but giving stuffs to make you rich? It's slaving you.

American is right, communism country is every country who get the free stuffs and free money from governments. Cause someone use this way to cover up the truth and source of wuhan virus , or coronavirus, or Omicro, cover up how much they corrupt in this disaster by these virus by these money which they promise giving to citizens and victims.but Chinese communism Party doesn't need to give money to Chinese or any free stuffs to cover up the truth, they just need to cover up Chinese mouths, eyes and even noses.

Especially in democracy countries governments can't know every pennies going to.only in China they could do it, as tyrant basterds.

And democracy needs trust . To destroy democracy, the only thing working is destroying trust of democracy.

Democracy is used.

[10-48,1-12,2022]

In Bible snake is devil, in west dragon is devil, too.In Chinese Taoism ,tiger in west, dragon in east, turbo with snake in north, phoenix in south are four saint guardians guarding four directions.

I don't understand. Snake means demon in Bible, but not demon itself? snakes are different?

[7-19,1-12,2022]

 

[5-23,1-12,2022]

Now I see China is a snake pit when America is eagle swarm.eagles hunts snakes in nature, whatever old ones of young ones. But why for me eagles making friends with snakes or even families is so beautiful?

[3-28,1-12,2022]

so why Chinese party of communism makes chairman Xi of communism military core of communism Party? 

Core could be understood as DNA of political Chinese communism which could be understood as virus, or micrograms. Chairman is a main core of Chinese Party of communism, then vice chairman, then prime minister,seven standing committees, captains of communists , communists, Chinese people and their believers.the whole Chinese communism organization obeys pyramid style to rule when their Dna is the same.only one on the top.they have very simple methods to run, more simple, more survive.

And from top communism level to bottom communism levels each level each communist builds families , homes, friends circles and companies by themselves to be another core of these groups.they could be dependent communists when they are alone, not harm enough,when being together they are a whole China, don't have billions population as Chinese communism Party does, but just 2 communists could be another Chinese Party of communism. although communists are born as humankind, I mean communism of politics spread in a way like asxual reproduction, like aliens in movies, and a distributed system.

I don't know if core of communism Party of China is idea of Peng Liyuan who's Xi's wife or not, but it could be noticed this time.

Trusting Chinese communists and their believers would pay everything you have.even thought you make them best friends by your whole life, in the end the one hurting you most and kill you are themselves who think they are doing right things. Cause by communism trust of them is only a habit to change, not the feeling of heart which can't.

For me coronavirus can be released by Chinese Party of communism to sacrifice anyone for its own purpose.cause for Beijing Olympic which should isolate foreign spotted a in Beijing only it could let Chinese in Tianjin,Henan and Shanxi effect each other and die for hunger and virus, too. History repeats when mistakes can't be admired.they seem like burning bodies again in Xi'an, like what happened in Wu'han in 2019.

So why parts of communists turn into more fatal for develop themselves as communism when parts of communists turn against communism itself for destroying communism as themselves when they leave China or communism organization or not? If it's not a show or appearance or pretend, by political 'gene mutation' of depress of the world and instinct of life to survive instead of being generous or selfish,communists change, some communists change into being more beneficial for themselves who are communism in any way, some communists change into being more beneficial for themselves who are not in any way, the first change is making others stepped stones to be official higher level of communists, the second change is calls corruption actually failed objects by Chinese Party of communism,which must be recycled or put in 'jail'.

[4-40,1-10,2021]

*Whatever how much beautiful clouds are, whatever how long they cover up sun, people still want love and need lights.*

I made a dream, I should wrote it down on another place,but it makes me thinking. I was in a communism college and my adviser asked me to finish an object of his for graduation of mine when I disliked it and complained he should pay money to me for doing it.

Should I do it for him even if he pay me for it? He works for Chinese communism Party which's evil for me.comparing to west culture telling kids to work for what they want and need and love by being destroying morality traps, ancient Chinese say making good money in good way from good people for being good.there's money for Chinese to make which they don't make.Chinese tell kids to avoid morality traps, importantly, don't become another morality traps for the others.

But it already tells Chinese kids what's morality traps, by what they should avoid instead of trapping anyone else. 

*Coronavirus is another revolution of communism to take away something someone of the others in it unless the truth is released .*

Perhaps all governments in the world cut in it once and still, whatever they want or not to be both crimes and victims, for survive. Chinese communism Party makes the chaos by it for catching some big fishes and leave baits there and set traps.it's not only a start of communism riot, but also a purse seines for the world in past even more than 50 years.

Communism needs strong belief to work, it's why it settles in China by lies and betrays in the dark, or the country which has strong belief before China exsit but fell down like leaves in autumn on the trees. wronging and blinding belief of Chinese is their first mistake. Communism needs a 'god'. And Chinese communists sugar up a psycho killer who's their first chairman and now kill themselves by what he had done whatever Chinese admit it or not.taking Death and crimes to be god it's their second mistake.forcing and ignoring and judging people who don't accept communism to accept communism is their third mistake, billions of life die because of it.

*Is communism wrong or not which's the ghost haunting Europe?*

Communism is Not the end of capitalism like what Chinese communists say, but the start of ancient epochs.perhaps only ancient ways suits ancient demons to rule ancient countries instead of young ones. It's never a coincident for communism to be in 'China' so long.because only in completely ancient epochs communism could success formally when time stops for a long time and even travels back immediately.

Basing on this Chinese should eat grass for living, have poor life and make pennies for hard work jobs unless they work for ChineseParty of communism, should pay expensive bills which they can't afford to be healed in Chinese hospitals uless they have background of communusm, should smile when other Chinese suffer unless they suffer, and Chinese communists should kill the riches in revolutions and take away extra property of theirs which are not communists but better richer than communists , should kill people who don't trust believe or live for communism in public and dig out their bodies to beat and shame, should kill babies of mothers and build body hills of them, should let Chinese eat each other when their food being planted by themselves are robbed away by communists and send them to Soviet, should take most money of Chinese people's and any others' who fights against it away and laundry these money into their west countries' accounts. the victims pay for what they want need believe, the crimes gain for what they want need believe. closed loop for isolated minds.now it's what they do in the whole world.perfectly fair in morality, but completely wrong by laws.

*polarization comes from discrimination of ways to live for people, not political systems*

Communism could not making everyone have full money in own pockets,only greedy corrupted communists could. the only result of communism is let people llive by eating grass, wear hides and use woods to set fire ,collect seeds to plant and wait for sun rise and down everyday in ancient epochs again.

It doesn't mean ancient way to live is wrong for people who still can choose it , but for whom use it to rule people by communism.

Polarization or gaps between rich and poor are not polarization or gaps between rich and poor, they are two lifestyles. In few places of China people still keep living like that and Chinese Party of communism call it communism standards and wish giving them some food and cloths, money and electric, people would believe Mao is god and communists are saviors of the world, would believe communism is their destiny and live for communism.but no, some of them don't like it, they don't tell, can't be heard, don't wanna communism.

Retired fugitive and most potential communists and their friends families work hard for human , plant vegetables for themselves and do charitable businesses still, but the question is that why they don't plant vegetables in China when they ban normal Chinese to plant own vegetables to eat and destroy their homelands and gardens? Is it another communism show abroad to laundry themselves and make communists in China and the world take the blame for themselves when Chinese communists have done the same damn things in China by orders of Mao Zedong which was called working with farmer friends, sleeping with farmer friends, living with farmer friends, instead of watching them, knowing them, beating them in the end take their lands into own pockets for food and building garbage to sell back to farmers with much higher prices by laws?

*Communists are not survivors under the law, but criminals above it.*

Everything they have and do is for communism, it's why for Chinese communism Party Xi Jinping as chairman is called 'Xi' core and Chinese communism Party calls itself 'communism Party' core for Chinese, like the four stars surrounding one star in Chinese national flag.not all for one, but one against four, four against all.

Some American say communists don't have hearts, they are demons. Right, especially corrupted communists and capitalists who connect them.some American say communism leads people to be poor and tragic.Right. especially many developed countries and rich and good. Someone say communists are changing the world into hell.Right.especially for all life including animals.

When their cores are chairmen and Chinese political Party of communism, they must lack something for being normal, for being mankind, for being themselves. Whatever how much they love each other, when they are communists  loving communism only, they only love 'themselves'- they are communism itself.

And when communists corrupt, they become more dangerous and evil, cause their faith of communism change into an opposite way of communism, more worse than bad capitalists. And they can't even stop it to cover themselves up by corruptions for being looked like capitalists, cause their appearances for being a normal mankind or even capitalists can't keep them surviving anymore .it's instinct for them to survive only by corruptions for communism, not faithful for God.

Honestly, if all human keep believing communists could save the world and themselves, the only one who could save them are only alien and robert by save them or extinct.

*Communism, it's not the final end of capitalism, it's not the final end of the world , neither.*

The world destroyed Nazi when letting go communism.does it wanna communism taking care of itself? Or the world is not the world anymore? Good.perhaps someday I could change also.then there would be no Chinese in the world anymore.

Being against Chinese Party of communism to call self freedom solider or democracy fighter can't prove whether they are communists or not. cause communists never needs to be loyal when the world needs to know truth.

Let the past be past.first of all, the 'past' should pass.

And I can't believe there's a future just because of anyone's any critical thinking about anything.high level Chinese communists whatever they are young or old are taught trained treated completely in Chinese communism organizations and groups and colleges to think critically hard, like a normal foreigner when they are not.

I may never have what I lose, but I work for them.

[7-13,1-9,2021]Perhaps nobody trusts me just because I'm Not a communist. That's Very communism.

Chinese are just Chinese, communists are just communists. But when capitalists judge them, they are capitalists, when demons judge them , they are demons, when gods judge them, they are gods.when people judge them they are people.

Chinese communists are like mirrors tempting others by others' themselves under Chinese culture mixing Budhha ,Taoism even other religions for me.They are Not complete but very simple, but to be themselves, others completely do.

[7:00,1-8,2021]Fate can't be changed when luck can be in Taoism.If, all luck is constant, when someone know how to get good luck and take more than they mean to have and as much as they want for themselves or anything or anybody, could the luck they take from the others which are taken away kill them or anything anybody else?

People have luck for what they are, need and deserve.they use luck they are born to have to do things, for the others, for themselves, for God's wills.but when they use their own luck and luck being taken from the others and give it to a same thing for which doesn't give back anything to what they pay for by the luck, like Chinese communism Party which lead them wrong and make them blind for taking away their luck, they could even all die some day.

Someone say Chinese don't have faith, perhaps they mean right clear faith. Chinese have faith, Chinese Party of communism just proves it which is their faith, but it's wrong and blind.

Good luck for bad people make them worse sometimes.like wrong and blind faith on communists make them become animals, even less than animals, they are wrong blind faith itself to be less than animals for getting more luck which they don't deserve.more good luck makes communists less than animals until they all are destroyed someday.

Good luck can be for bad people, when they change it's a chance, good luck is a thing to save them, when they don't it's an end,good luck is a thing to destroy them.

Chinese communists are as bad as they are from the very beginning, not like my dad said Chinese communists had been good before for trying to push his responsibility to someone else who treat Chinese communists badly for him like I do, what does it mean?

Good cats are always good when playful cats are always playful.they can't be changed, in any way, only can be showed up.my dad still makes sure that Chinese communism Party is good.he's still a communist absolutely.he says communists are bad now just because he wants to survive by using me.

Coronavirus is a failed way to tell the world how evil plans Chinese communism Party had which using the virus to release towards America only.although it spreads as what someone want.is it possible someone release them to save America by what Chinese communists do to threat America which suppose and is still a victim after it fails?kill some Chinese to save the world? Or a show like it?

I gave my dad a wooden fish which is often appeared in temples,mean to make him calm down when he wanna use credit cards and become greedy unnoticed.mom blames me that dad become greed because of me who don't have a communism job or marry.and dad piss off he said u wanna me to be a monk. Mom asked me why your dad needs to be a monk when he says he wanna to be a monk by seeing the wooden fish. I asked her it's what he says why not ask him about it instead of me? And why you and him are so scared and angry to be or being a monk? Then I see how much blind they are in their heart, only smartness,no wisdom.I'm only for them a tool,team or fool who make money and is useful for them to teach them making money in their own lives, then show their real color to me when it's not about money for them.because they don't care what life they have, only money, but making money is a life way to go, not a communism way to finish.like that I help and teach them making money ,doing business are for them to live on their own without communism effects instead of relying on me.they are scared and angry at to have as empty pockets as a normal monk instead of their strong faith and right belief.I indeed don't wanna to go abroad for and escape from such bad communism parents of mine like this.I would rather fight against communism to die because I feel shame for myself still calling them parents.I told my dad it's all right to want to be a monk when you have full of shit in your head and mind unless you get too crazy to feel all shit and think you are fine and clean.And i told mom don't worry he can't be a monk and you still can rely on him as a fucking husband, he has not enough talent of it.

Communism is like this for me, more I stay well with the others, more I stay further from them.whatever how much good friends families and strangers they are, someday we become foe enemy and irreconcilable. just because they are too stink for me about materials.

I told parents being poor is not about how much money in your pocket, but how much love, belief even God in your hearts, how much wisdom in your head, how much kindness you treat the others, world, and life, and how much yourselves still left.

[11-46,1-5,2021]

Mao Zedong can die, Chinese can change, money can laundry, communism and communists can disappear. After everything ends, what's left? 

My dad told me a story , when he's a teenager being a soldier in communism military in 1980s, there's a cooker who could use one egg to make a lot of soup for a lot of soldiers and the soup looked like full of egg when there's only the egg in it.I was surprised when I heard it as a little giel and said that cooker was genus.

When everything ends nothingness will be left. Truth is the egg.Appearance is the egg in the soup, all informations are the soup.everyone wants a bowl of it, with as big pieces of truth as they like, to drink, to sell, or to save&chock up each other.

Who's the cooker? 

Do someone something wanna communists who have a lot of sins and so evil stand out to sacrifice for themselves who're evil more?

[5-15,1-5,2021]

So Mao Zedong knew American treat rich fairly and not as bad as Chinese do and he used communism to be rich and planed to leave China and go to America? So nothing is wrong to make money become rich by communism and corruptions for America and the world? So Chinese communists and corruptions don't only belong to China but also belong to America and the world ? More terrible than watching alien movies, cause it happens in real life. So if there's no communism and communists, what do American and the world hate China and Chinese most?

[10-25,1-5,2021]

Mostly someone only betray hurt kill totrue even murder someone else who like love care respect believe them most but can't protect change help save lead them.

Is it love? Not love?

Chinese's nationalism, Chinese's madness and being crazy, Chinese's dreams and Chinese's big great strong country, even communism, communists, and Chinese communism Party themselves, perhaps it's just an excuse of some Chinese and someone to make themselves stay in and with nothingness.If the world wants to stay with communism   , like stay with coronavirus,I don't have right to say no, but I still can't do it like them.

When there's light, there's darkness.When it is light, no darkness but only light in it.

[1-24,1-5,2021]

perhaps because I become like this ,so for me love becomes like this.It's not love when I see it's love, it's love showing me to me.

Indeed wanna to leave this place, this home, this country,this planet, so many  accusations which I can't take : when I wanna and to make others happy, they only call me freak crazy mad or anything else and stay away from me.

Honestly I just feel like that most of people must feel happy when someone like me who is a poor ugly normal and no background don't like them or wanna to make them friends or boyfriends or marry or husband.So i wanna them to be happy whatever they like me or not.they envy me, I will not marry a good man, they hate me,I will not leave for freedom, they expect on me, I will not study or work with God,they laugh at or fear me, I will not be myself to tell the truth.they hurt and wanna killing me, I will not let who change them into demons go for revenge.People always change for the others.Only me keeps the same for themselves.

[17-33,1-4,2021]

the cousin tells me to sex a lot with him can be loved, fox1 tells me to believe destiny can be loved, fox2 tells me to become very bad  can be loved, hedgehog tells me to share time very long can be loved.etc etc etc etc, if it's love what is it Not? Everybody looks like they love in ways of someone else for love of someone else's. The world is like a love system, not the world.

Hope not. Sometimes it has fun, too. Especially when someone think I fall in trap of love but they fall in love of trap.

Love is used too much. I don't wanna to blame anybody for it.but whatever love or not, just tell the truth. Not to tell the truth for avoiding hurting feelings and benefits for each other and even the world, if it's not hypocritical, what is it? Even if love wants everything, does it deserve to be used like this? Should love be like this? Love for purposes, purposes for love, when does love become like that?

[11-01,1-4,2021]

Chinese are a lot. More Chinese communists close China and lockdown more Chinese inside for free labors by lies and nationalism, cheats and traps, more Chinese ignore the world.more Chinese are against the 'unknown' world which is the world by what they know from Chinese communists.then there will be the war between Chinese and the world.to avoid the war is to let Chinese know the truth which are covered up, open China and see the world on their own, give up yourselves and fucking communism dreams.for own morality, belief, purposes and making own dreams come true by making laws, rules, principles and using a whole country to do, work , service and sacrifice for them, if it's not dictatorship or tyranny what is it?

[8-29,1-4,2021]

For communists, if they stop work harder and harder to do something like they say for Chinese and China and even the whole world's goodness by more and more money they get from any other's  pockets, Chinese and China and the whole world will stop suffer and have a better future together.

Greed, not only for bad which is hate, envy and expect,  but also for good.

Judge someone to be bad, greed can be called revenge and hate.Judge someone to be good, greed can be called sacrifice and love.revenge and sacrifice are ways for hate and love which are motives. both hate and love is kind of selfish, which are for only self's satisfaction, and sacrifice.

When cutting in anything about sacrifice and love,hate and revenge, the games of sins start, only when people pay for it, even lose their life, they could stop.

I feel if I marry, I could only marry loneliness.I can be, wanna to be , love to be lonely,but don't wanna another one to.Everybody wants who they love to be happy , who wanna them to be lonely.Everybody wants to be happy, who wants to be lonely .Everybody wants happiness, not loneliness.Everybody wants someone else, not me.

Cats know how to love , so whenI hug them too much too strongly too wired, they run away.

If love, live even breath is selfish, how could I do them?

[13-29,1-3,2021]

For me, don't make money,don't lose money.don't make love,don't lose love.

How to live without money, sex, even love? In another word, how to live without these rules which are made by anybody centuries after centuries?

Could live. But everybody else can't.

Killing pets of people who are lockdown by Chinese communism governments is intimidating them, is telling them they can kill their pets, they can kill them,too. But they are the ones who should be killed. 

And don't like my life and my cats' life is in hands of the others whatever Chinese Party of communism which is the only group of Chinese who have guns in China or not, so before they can touch my cats they must go to hell.

I told dad not to use overdraw in banking again. It's another kind gambling.as same as gambling which makes people feel they can win everything they lose more and more back next time, overdraw in banking makes people feel whatever how much they overdraw by banks they can always pay them with higher fee back time after time.

[5-22,2-3,2022]

 at 2:04 am, I wake up by a whistle.I looked outside of Windows and saw a short man in black was on the phone around the building next to mine.and then I saw another men who has disable legs a little walked out from.another building, he walked fast toward the first one after standing in front of the building looking for something or if anyone was around or not.There's a taxi driver drove back with his car and jumped in another one to work, when they saw him ,the disable man pretend he's drunk and started to shout madly, then after the taxi drove away, they quickly walked away towards the third building.

Thief? Catching streets dogs cats to sell for meat? Or communism spies who spread virus on the doors? or looking for an aim which run gambles secretly in the dark?

And I don't even notice if there's a third one or not from another side. My fault.

[3-36,1-3,2022]

read that Chinese communism governments kills pets of infected Chinese at homes again in Xi'an.I'm scared. I indeed need and want it and all communists to be destroyed and die immediately now. God, tell me what to do.

if killing pets and let communists kill pets could save owners who have virus, if killing so much life and so many people in the world could save the rest,  and prove that the rest are innocent, the dead are guilty, who decide it? And what can choose who could pick up anybody to be infected and sacrificed for the rest to have a better life?

Unless communists are judged and communism is destroyed by God I couldn't say the ancient Chinese prophecies are telling the truth that the wuhan virus coming from rivers of Wuhan, China is a punishment of God, so someone could use them to poison and control the world. They are not god.

[17-54,1-2,2022]

My body tells me who love me,not me. It could feel if someone want me or want my body only I hope. 

Do men always marry someone who are the best or they love most, or sex most, do women always love someone who love them most or sex most, or marry them? Do they marry someone who they wanna to sex most ? or love to sex most, or love most? If it's not sex, but food, water, money, but cars,houses,cloths, luxury lives, even autocratic communism power, who do they marry?

Everyone is like a star in universes.it means everyone is unique.but stars don't pick, or choose.

[15-14,1-2,2022]

corruption is a shortcut to become rich, it's a shortcut to become poor, too.

Some Chinese communists want to use 100 years to make one billion communists rich, now only few of them have a lot of money which they will lose soon. Don't admire them, don't envy them, don't hate them. They have their own ways to go. And you have yours.

[4-46,1-2,2022]

read some gossips online about source of Xi'an infections of virus. They post screenshot Chinese chat , it said it's because a nurse who's married has a lover being infected and communists working for governments had a big meal with someone who want to get the businesses of Chinese communism government's procurement and open tendering procedures for corruptions. they both don't tell the truth about who they meet and where they go.

as I know for young married Chinese having lovers are too normal and all Chinese communists ask and take kickbacks for these things and use their power and friendships relationships to make a better price. Who do the communism government's business are often their families, friends or even official partners.they didn't tell the truth about it for political purposes , it's why the virus spreads so fast in Xi'an when they hide the truth. But too much corruptions in China, Chinese communism governments could only lock down good people when keeping infected communists moving as worst as they can.the virus can't be stopped unless communists stopping corrupting and gives up their power and political rights, the point is that either spreading virus or stopping corruptions ,they are too fatal for communists to do.

Similar reasons of 2019 wuhan virus, Chinese governments let some Chinese go abroad when they know they are infected before locking down in China, these Chinese flies to everywhere in the world. Are they Chinese who do bad things in China, too? Who are they for Chinese Party of communism? All of them are corrupted communists and bad communism believers like that telling lies about their lives? Is everyone from China all evil? What is Chinese Party of communism outputting to the world? So much life die for virus and politics , if China and Chinese Party of communism can't be blamed and judged, anybody can be blamed and judged by who? By these crimes?

cb tax me 22 dollars for cashing when  it should be only 3 dollars as they write on the page by my address of Chinese. They don't dare to even mention it for foreigners in the public rules.

more tips for me, more lose for me.like drinking sault water, more drink, more thirsty. Like healing diseases by diseases, more heals, more diseases.Ways to destinations are more important than destinations themselves.ridiculous, but it's true

I had no friend before,so I do have much patience to make someone worthy it.